News Kashmir Magazine

              OVER-THINKING NEEDS SOME DISCIPLINE

Dr Suhaib Ashraf Bhat

Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life. This is something that the world’s most successful people realize – and the only difference between them and everyone else is that they are able to harness the power of thoughts to help them achieve. They’ve learned how to stop overthinking and start taking action.

The good news is that you weren’t born an over-thinker. Overthinking is the result of one fact of human existence: we all have patterns to our behaviour. These patterns, good and bad, develop over time based on life experiences. And just as patterns are learned, they can also be unlearned.

Overthinking is simply what its name suggests – thinking too much. Overthinking is going over the same thought again and again, analysing the simplest of situations or events until all sense of proportion has gone. The overthinking brain cannot translate these thoughts into actions or positive outcomes, so therefore creates feelings of stress and anxiety.

Surely we all overthink to some extent? As parents, sons or daughters, employees or business people, worrying about things is linked to caring about our loved ones, and about doing a good job.

However, people who really struggle with overthinking tend to be “ruminators”, going over events that have already happened. Plain old worrying tends to be about the future: can I meet this deadline? Can I find a nice residential flat for my mum? Often, our worries help us move forwards as we are working out how to mitigate them; however overthinking tends to be passive rather than active, dwelling on past events and building up disproportionately negative future results.

Take this scenario. You accidentally call your new boss by the wrong name. What do you think and feel when you realise this later?

The average worrier will feel mildly embarrassed, plan to apologise with some self-deprecating comment the next day, then forget about it and make dinner. The over-thinker will replay this error over and over, while rewriting different outcomes. By four in the morning, he or she will be mentally creating scenarios of being passed over for future promotions, or even chosen for redundancy. The incident has triggered big questions in the overthinking mind, which blow the whole event way out of proportion. 

There was a question from a married couple, we think about every little thing and we worry a great deal. This is affecting our worship too; all the time we think about the worries and problems that we are going through. Is there any solution to this?

YES, FOR EVERY PROBLEM THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION.

1 –Thinking about the matters of our daily lives, and our private and public affairs is something that is essential and important, it is necessary in order for us to deal with these matters and benefit from them in the appropriate manner. The Qur’aan – which is the word of Allah swt – urges us to think, in more than one verse, for example: 

“…and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose…” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:191] 

“And on the earth are signs for those who have Faith with certainty.

And also in your ownselves. Will you not then see?” [al-Dhaariyaat 51:20-21] 

“Will you not then take thought?” [al-An’aam 6:50] 

“Have you then no understanding?”[al-Baqarah 2:76]

And there are other verses which encourage us to think about our affairs and indeed about the life and creation around us. 

So thinking in and of itself is not a problem, rather it is required, important and essential, and it is enjoined by our religion and encouraged by our Qur’aan. 

2 – This “thinking” may become a psychological or social problem if it prevents a person from playing his natural role that is expected of him in life. 

Such as thinking that things are more serious than they really are, or thinking too much about matters where thinking about them will not change anything at all, rather that only causes distress and becomes an obstacle prevents one from taking any initiative, and make him hesitant and confused, and unable to take any decision. 

Thinking may become a problem in if it makes a person go beyond his intellectual limits in thinking about matters of the unseen and things that he can never comprehend, which may open many doors for the accursed Shaytaan to influence him. 

3 – With regard to thinking a great deal about everything and worrying about every problem, this is to some extent a natural thing, so long as it does not prevent you from living your lives in a natural manner. What I mean here is, is this thinking helping you to come up with solutions to these problems that you are facing? Do these situations deserve all the time that you are spending on thinking about them? If the answer is yes, then there is no problem! But if the answer is no, then you yourself are admitting that they do not warrant that, and then you are halfway to solving the problem, which is to identify the problem and take a decision concerning it. Because when we know what the problem is, it is easy for us to find the right way of dealing with it. 

4 – Overcoming these problems needs some discipline and some time. You can make the decision to start and you are able, with the help and support of Allah swt, to do that. You have to trust yourselves in this regard! 

5 – Concerns and problems fall into three categories or levels: 

1. Concerns and problems that have a direct impact upon your married and social lives in a serious manner that may lead to breakdown in relationships. These must be given their due measure of objective thought and you should try to reach an agreement and settle the matter. They should not be ignored for so long that it becomes too difficult to deal with them.

2. The second level is concerns or problems in which the positive and negative aspects are equal and in which you are involved. In these cases you should pray istikhaarah to Allah swt, and it is o.k. to consult others concerning them and to weigh up alternatives, then decide what you think is the solution, without going to extremes in worrying about it.

3. The third level is concerns and worries that do not concern you at all, because they have to do with other people. It is better not to get involved in them and waste your time with them, because they simply do not concern you and your opinion does not matter.

6 – The concerns and matters of our daily lives inevitably fall into one of three categories: 

1. Matters which are in the past and are over and done with. We should not worry about these too much, except to the extent from which we can learn from our mistakes and experiences when dealing with things in the future. The past cannot come back and there is no need to worry about things that are over and done with.

2. Matters which lay ahead in the future. It is more appropriate not to think about these a great deal before they happen, because the future is part of the unseen, and all that we have to do in this case is to examine the choices we have in this matter if it comes to pass. When the time comes, we have to put our trust in Allah swt and take a decision.

3. Matters of day-to-day life. This is where we attempt to weigh up all the available alternatives, and it is o.k. to consult others with regard to these things and to exchange ideas without going to extremes or worrying too much. In the end, things will turn out as we hope, by Allah swt’s leave, so long as we pursue the means of praying istikhaarah and consulting others, and good lies in that which is chosen by Allah swt.

Like many traits of anxiety and depression, overthinking actually comes from one of our primitive preservation instincts. The primitive mind will always see things from the worst possible perspective. This is because the brain is being hyper-vigilant, trying to keep us alive – there’s no sense in being optimistic about those sabre-toothed tigers I’ve mentioned above!

On its own, overthinking isn’t recognized as a mental disorder. However, overthinking symptoms often indicate that another mental disorder is present, such as depression or anxiety. Even then it can become a “which came first?” scenario: Is overthinking a symptom of anxiety, or does anxiety cause overthinking? The important thing to know is that even if overthinking isn’t a mental disorder, it can have negative effects on your life and needs to be addressed. 

Conclusion: LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

The writer can be reached at   suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com

  One year of Taliban:

Woman’s agency still a myth   

 By Tehmeena Rizvi 

The decommissioning of American forces from Afghanistan left quite a gruesome and horrifying image in all of our minds. We all saw the doomsday-like visuals of afghani’s falling out of american military carriers like sand off a boulder. It was a frightening concept of a fear mongering, highly patriarchal and un-democratic organisation running the show in a country.

Taliban takeover has made catastrophic situations for women on multiple fronts. More than one year after their takeover Afghanistan of today is becoming a hellhole for its women. From changing the system of women’s access to education to limiting their mobility, they have become an embodiment of every woman’s nightmare. In a place like Afghanistan where war and misery have been going on for decades, special attention was required and efforts were required in order to reestablish normalcy and education amongst the women. However, the current situation has only made things worse for them and even a slight hope of improvement has been tarnished by the present regime. The psychological and social wellbeing of the women has gone so low, that it would take several years of intensive care and counselling to return to the daily round. According to a U.N. Women report: “In practice, restrictions on women’s freedom of movement often go beyond what is prescribed in decrees,” due to the intimidation attached to taliban. After the Taliban takeover, women employees working in the government departments were forced to stay at home. Approximately three million girls are currently banned from getting secondary education in Afghanistan, according to UNICEF. 

Just recently, innumerable number of girls have protested in Afghanistan’s Paktia province after Taliban authorities shut their schools just days after classes resumed, and the protest harboured global limelight. At a higher level, The academic week has been split so that male and female students can be taught separately, for three days each.

Academics and education experts opine that  this segregation, and the shortage of female lecturers, has reduced the quality of education, particularly for women. Some subjects have even been discontinued for female students, according to some scholars and students. Human rights campaigners and groups  have accused the Taliban of trying to erase women from all walks of public life. In June, several thousand Taliban clerics and tribal leaders gathered to discuss issues of national importance. But Taliban leaders did not allow women to participate, which drew worldwide outrage.

International bodies like the United Nations are openly spilling the beans on the painful scenario of Afghanistan women under Taliban rule. Recently a renowned UN rights expert said women’s freedoms had significantly deteriorated since the Taliban returned.

“There’s no country in the world where women and girls have so rapidly been deprived of their fundamental human rights purely because of gender,” Richard Bennett, the special rapporteur to UNHRC on the human rights situation in Afghanistan 

Even the women participating in the economic activities in Afghanistan are dwindling after the Taliban takeover. A whopping  77 percent of women’s CSOs have had no projects in 2022 due to a lack of funding, while some heads of organisations and civil society members have left the country. Since the Taliban takeover, foreign donors have drastically cut aid to Afghanistan, where there is a major economic and humanitarian crisis. The gruelling poverty under Taliban rule has made women of Afghanistan its first victim.

Child marriage is not thoroughly tracked in Afghanistan, with gaps in concrete, holistic data about the number of children affected, UNICEF has reported children being sold as young as 20 days old for future marriage, with girls disproportionately affected. Now, amid spiralling poverty and the difficulty of finding sustainable jobs – only five percent of Afghan families have enough to eat daily, and inflation for essential household goods is at 40 percent (PDF) – even more families are struggling. THIS Makes most of girl child vulnerable for Child marriage.

Even before the Taliban seized power, Afghanistan was ranked among the five poorest countries in the world, with almost half the population suffering from chronic food insecurity.

A year after the Taliban took control, aid agencies say nearly all Afghans now live in poverty.

Amid all this, women of Afghanistan are grappling with horrible choices.  A good number of Afghan women are now selling their babies. Poverty in Afghanistan has risen to a point where scores of women line up in front of bakeries in capital Kabul daily to beg for bread and keep their children alive. Women after selling their daughters are forced even to sell kidneys to feed their families. The fact of the matter is that 48 percent of the population in Afghanistan consists of women and thus Taliban need to dawn upon the reality fast  that the country cannot progress without the active participation of its women in building society, especially one which is war torn.

The all important menstrual hygiene has palmetted to a new low in the past one year, with a very small percentage of women having access to basic menstrual hygiene. Afghan girls lack access to menstrual products and education not just at home, but in school as well. Nearly half of women and girls are left in the dark when it comes to menstruation in the first place since education in such areas is virtually non-existent. One hopes Taliban who call themselves the harbinger of so-called morality would look into this aspect ,the hopes of which are bleak .

The whole World needs to brainstorm on how to help the women of Afghanistan recover from trauma & tragedy and get them the basic human rights that they have been deprived of for so many years now. The media, having covered it immensely in the beginning but slowly fading, should get it back into the light of discussions. In its entirety, humanity should empathise with the plight of the Afghan people & especially the women, extending all the aid possible.

Tehmeena Rizvi The author is a Public Policy Professional from J&K, Currently working in New Delhi. Her areas of 

Role of Youth in Shaping Kashmir’s Future : 

By Advocate Adnan Magray 

“The nation  has to offer today’s Kashmiri  youth something better” 

The idea of nation-building  started to fascinate me during my higher secondary school days . I was a student at army public school Srinagar and from 2010 to 2014 Those were exciting times to be in school during that time  Anna Hazare’s movement had gained national prominence, Modi had announced his national campaign, Arvind Kejriwal had launched a political party. 

The churn that was happening nationally was not limited to the Jan Lokpal bill. Particularly from a youth perspective, it was evident that young people had a desire to play a role in nation-building. 

Every day, thousands  of 10- to 15-year-old students walk through the doors of their middle schools with anticipation and great hopes for their future. Some will fall into leadership positions, but something so important should not be left to chance—or to the few.

Every student has the potential to be a leader, and their teachers and administrators have the responsibility to establish a school climate that nurtures their growth as self-sufficient, engaged citizens, and to develop their leadership skills.

Youth are the most important and dynamic segment of the population in any region . It is believed that developing countries with large youth population could see tremendous growth, provided they invest in young people’s education, health and protect and guarantee their rights. We can undoubtedly say that today’s young are tomorrow’s innovators, creators, builders and leaders.

But they need the required support in terms of good health, education, training and opportunities to transform the future. The economic trigger happens when a county’s more hands to work available than more mouths to feed. To put it succinctly, working age population has to be larger than the dependent population.

Today, Jammu and Kashmir is one of the youngest union territory / state  in the country with more than 62% of its population in the working age group (15–59 years), and more than 54% of its total population below 25 years of age. The youth of today’s Jammu and Kashmir  is increasingly becoming restless and struggling to remove the disparities. However, more efforts need to be put in, if we are to become free from the vicious circles of poverty, malnutrition, corruption, violence and unemployment in the region of Jammu and Kashmir. All these vices are still prevalent in the society, which are not allowing our great nation to function in its real spirit.

Unfortunately, being a democratic nation and largest democracy in the world, India is still lagging behind in achieving socio-political and economic equalities, which were dreamt by our predecessors. As a nation, since 72 years, we have been striving to eliminate these inequalities at all levels, which are existing in the forms of poverty, unemployment, illiteracy, corruption, violence, gender bias etc. 

India is ranked at 130 in Human Development Index, 115 in Human Capital Index, 100 in Global Hunger Index, 122 in World Happiness Index, 62 in Inclusive Development Index, 141 in Gender Development Index and 145 in Global Burden of Disease Study. India’s rank in various development indices has barely grown over the years. If India is to improve upon these indices, then the Indian Youth needs to take the charge and come forward to fight against multiple inequalities and contribute in nation building  with special focus on Kashmir policy .

Jammu and Kashmir has the edge of demographic dividend. They have the power to change . 

Young minds of Jammu and Kashmir will be more fresh and innovative which helps in the progress of the country. But adequate opportunities should be given to the youth to represent their ideas and policies for the upliftment of the nation. Only way to express the ideas and to implement their policies is politics. Young people should be motivated to take part in politics and to occupy the high positions such as , Chief Minister , minister’s , MLA’S , MP’S .

Knowledge and unity speaks a lot rather than experience. For instance, a mass protest by the youth in Delhi for justice of Nirbhaya case, a mass protest in Delhi for India against Corruption and a mass protest in the Marina beach for Jallikattu etc are some of the prominent examples for the strength of youth. 

If the ruling power is given in the hands of the youth, then definitely Jammu and Kashmir  will become developed and prosperous region  soon.

They have power to change. Education programs should aim to teach and young minds right from the school level the importance of choosing right people who would take charge of governance. Conventionally, youth of Jammu and Kashmir specially Kashmir valley  have been asked to keep away from politics by dynasty politicians because if their personal self interest .

  Youth of Jammu  and Kashmir should be motivated to consider politics as a means to serve the nation. They should be oriented on anti-corruption drives with focus on prevention, education, and strategies for fighting corruption. Good governance is realistic with youth empowerment.

The pivotal role of youth of Kashmir valley  who are afresh with ideas and not ideals, will help in this movement towards a transparent civil society structure which can influence the political administration for the benefit of the society. It is only through a strong system of representation that democracy work and it is only through a strong youth representation that the dynamism and vigour of a country be maintained.

It is therefore important to acknowledge the role of civil societies in empowering youth towards strengthening of the democratic system of the Jammu and Kashmir sustainable development. 

The solution lies to effectively utilize modern tools in disseminating the belief among youth on their participation and representation in democracy through civil society initiatives.

Jammu and Kashmir needs them to resolve most of our problems. Currently Jammu and kashmir is facing a lot of challenges, and youth are capable of solving them. They just need to be given a chance to prove themselves. Youth have the power to unite individuals in the various ethnic groups. Racism is an ongoing issue around the world. Individuals are fighting against each other because of the complexion of their skin and the texture of their hair. Religion is another issue, the youths can convince their fellow man to live in peace and love. All of us are one and we should not allow these little differences to push us away from each other. There also a lot of crime taking place. Women are being killed by their abusive husbands. Person’s homes, businesses, are being broken into. All of this crime and violence needs to stop. The youth once more has the ability to bring about a change in the country.

Youths  of Jammu and Kashmir seems to have the ability to face any issues and challenges. They have a positive influence on their fellow young people. They are able to teach them the positive things in life. The ones who are destroying their future, they tend to listen to their fellow youths. They will make them understand the importance of being a good human being.

The wise youth that we have out there should be taken into consideration. Some of them, though educated are unemployed. They should be given an opportunity to expose their intelligence to the world and make themselves into someone. Government, Civil Society, voluntary organizations and other stakeholders should assist the youths; so that they can make our land a great and educated one. They will make a huge difference in society and the entire world. The youth of Kashmir valley  are  lifeline  our nation. They will make India  proud. The country will be recognized by the positive approaches of youth of Kashmir valley . They  just need the support and enabling environment at family level, community level, society level, state level, national level and international level which in turn will them to perform their duties.

The role of the youth of Jammu and Kashmir in the nation building is crucial. They are problem solvers, have a positive influence on other young people and the nation, and are extremely ambitious. They have the ability to create an identity for themselves and move the nation forward. However, they will not be able to do this without the support of government of India   Then the youth of Kashmir can make their beautiful land flourish and shine in success.

ALTERING THE ATTITUDE OF MIND

Dr Suhaib Ashraf Bhat

Thinking about the matters of our daily lives, and our private and public affairs is something that is essential and important, it is necessary in order for us to deal with these matters and benefit from them in the appropriate manner. 

Thinking in and of itself is not a problem, rather it is required, important and essential, 

This “thinking” may become a psychological or social problem if it prevents a person from playing his natural role that is expected of him in life. 

Such as thinking that things are more serious than they really are, or thinking too much about matters where thinking about them will not change anything at all, rather that only causes distress and becomes an obstacle prevents one from taking any initiative, and make him hesitant and confused, and unable to take any decision. 

With regard to thinking a great deal about everything and worrying about every problem, this is to some extent a natural thing, so long as it does not prevent you from living your lives in a natural manner. What I mean here is, is this thinking helping you to come up with solutions to these problems that you are facing? Do these situations deserve all the time that you are spending on thinking about them? If the answer is yes, then there is no problem! But if the answer is no, then you yourself are admitting that they do not warrant that, and then you are halfway to solving the problem, which is to identify the problem and take a decision concerning it. Because when we know what the problem is, it is easy for us to find the right way of dealing with it. 

Overcoming these problems needs some discipline and some time. You can make the decision to start and you are able, with the help and support of Allah swt, to do that. You have to trust yourselves in this regard! 

I suggest to you that you divide your concerns and problems into three categories or levels: 

1. Concerns and problems that have a direct impact upon your lives in a serious manner that may lead to breakdown in your happy lives. These must be given their due measure of objective thought and you should try to reach an agreement and settle the matter. They should not be ignored for so long that it becomes too difficult to deal with them.

2. The second level is concerns or problems in which the positive and negative aspects are equal and in which you are involved. In these cases seek help from Allah swt and it is o.k. to consult others concerning them and to weigh up alternatives, then decide what you think is the solution, bearing in mind without going to extremes in worrying about it.

3. The third level is concerns and worries that do not concern you at all, because they have to do with other people. It is better not to get involved in them and waste your time with them, because they simply do not concern you and your opinion does not matter.

The concerns and matters of our daily lives inevitably fall into one of three categories: 

1. Matters which are in the past and are over and done with. We should not worry about these too much, except to the extent from which we can learn from our mistakes and experiences when dealing with things in the future. The past cannot come back and there is no need to worry about things that are over and done with.

2. Matters which lay ahead in the future. It is more appropriate not to think about these a great deal before they happen, because the future is part of the unseen, and all that we have to do in this case is to examine the choices we have in this matter if it comes to pass. When the time comes, we have to put our trust in Allah swt and take a decision.

3. Matters of day-to-day life. This is where we attempt to weigh up all the available alternatives, and it is fine to consult others with regard to these things and to exchange ideas without going to extremes or worrying too much. 

Do not be sad, because sadness cause you to regret the past, to have misgivings concerning the future and to make you waste away your present. Do not be sad because grief cannot return the one that is lost or is gone away. Have faith, Give your life a second chance. Keep your eyes open. Lost will be replaced with something best. See upon you the signs of blessing, How many have been deprived of that which we already have? Lock your blessing up and keep them safe by being thankful.

Past is gone, future is unseen, so all you have is present.  Are you the one who created human? Are you the one who grants them provision? Are you the one who is taking care of their needs? 

No, it is Allah swt, Who does all that, Who is more merciful towards them than you are. Have complete trust that Allah swt will never cause them to be lost, may He be glorified and praised. This matter is not up to us at all. If all the people thought in this way no one would have any peace of mind. But praise be to Allah swt Who has guaranteed provision for everyone. Allah swt says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allah swt. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit (in the uterus or grave). All is in a Clear Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz — the Book of Decrees with Allah swt)” [Hood 11:6]

So cast these thoughts away from your mind.

Maybe you have a day coming up that will be your first free day in a long time, and you want to make the most of it. Maybe you’re thinking about those days you wake up and feel weirdly present, happy about the sunshine, singing to yourself, and want to know how to have more of them. Let today be the day you let go of worries and embrace pleasure and contemplation. Let go of yourself, get lost, slow down, and enjoy the moment. The one who seeks happiness and success in this world has to have a balanced approach without letting the one outweigh the other. In this manner he can strengthen his heart with faith and find peace of mind in doing that which he is required to do. You know that death is an inevitable reality that will come to every living thing, and no one will be spared that, no matter how noble his status before Allah swt. Allah swt said to His Prophet, the noblest of all creation (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, you (O Muhammad) will die, and verily, they (too) will die”

[al-Zumar 39:30]

And Allah swt says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]

And the poet said: 

Every son of a female, no matter how long he lives, Will one day be carried on the bier.

Every day doctors and scientists engage themselves in finding out ways by which life can be extended as much as possible. Life includes happiness and sorrows. Those are called the ups and downs of life. Without them, life is just an endless battle that can always be won. It is however important to find happiness in life to overcome one’s sorrows. Only then life seems to be beautiful.

Some people believe the purpose of life is getting wealthy. However, what will be the purpose of their life after collecting millions of dollars? If the purpose of life is to become wealthy, there will be no purpose after becoming wealthy.

In fact, here lies the problem of some people in the last stages of their lives. After they have collected the money which they dreamt of, their life loses its purpose and they live in tension, restlessness and suffer from the panic of nothingness.

Can attaining wealth be an aim?

We often hear of wealthy people committing suicide; sometimes, it is not the wealthy person himself but members of his family – his wife or children. The question is: Can aiming for wealth bring happiness to the individual? In most cases, the answer is ‘No’. Is the purpose of collecting wealth a long-standing purpose?

As we know, a five-year-old child does not look for wealth: he prefers a toy to a million dollars. An 18-year-old adolescent does not dream of wealth because he is busy with things that are more important. A 90-year-old does not care for money; he is more worried about his health. This proves that wealth cannot be a long-standing purpose in all the stages of an individual’s life.

Conclusion: People have different purposes at different stages in their lives such as collecting money and property, indulging in sex, eating and dancing. However, all these purposes are temporary, they come and go. Money comes and goes. Health comes and goes. Sexual activities cannot continue forever. All these lusts for money, food and sex cannot answer the individual’s question to himself: what next?

  suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com