Emotional intelligence, opinion 26 May 2025

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Emotional Intelligence 
 
By Nazema Parray

Emotional intelligence to  a common man is something related to emotions. Their understanding to this is limited and hence they seems less intrested with the same.But experts who knows it’s importance are working continually around the globe to make people understand its power and control on human minds. Incredible work has been done so far. More knowledge on this will bring human close to their authentic self. They will interpret not only their emotional phase correctly but emotions of others around.They can develop good emotional well-being of themselves.

To me emotional intelligence is a self awareness.Its understanding of one’s own emotions the real one and not the biased one.  People with higher emotional intelligence seems contented , satisfied and self aware .They are empathetic towards others .They know how to control their emotions well. Lack of emotions intelligence lead us to self doubt .We sabotage our true identity, because without the inability to understand oneself we become inevitably lost and we get stuck at wrong places.
The world is changing drastically so is changing the man. We have become impatient, impulsive, inconsistent and above all emotionally unavailable. Change is a beautiful thing if it will bring out the best it becomes destructive if happen negatively. We do not change drastically but slowly and eventually. As beautifully illustrated by Brainna Wiest  “you don’t change in break throughs you change in Microshift.”Change is progressive but slow. Once you become familiar with it you embrace it. Today’s world need paradigm shift. We need to get up on our own to help community to grow in a positive manner. We need to show empathy to others. Internet has done more of damage to our young generation rather than helping. Wholly Internet cannot to be blamed it’s upon its users wheather to enjoy it’s advantages or disadvantages.
More awareness is to be provided at primary level regarding emotional intelligence. Seminars and workshops has to be organised with younger generation. Counsellor should be hired in schools and colleges. They will help them to know what they actually want. Parents should come on board with school and college to help. They should be available to their kids rather then being busy with their own problems. They are busy giving their kids luxurious life rather then being a listeners. Today parents are not available for their kids. They should help them to understand the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations. They should stop fulfilling every demand of their children.
This way they are doing more damage to their children.
Today’s generation are not aware about what they actually want.They seem spending more time to impress people online who even doesn’t know them. They care more about convincing others that they are ok when actually they are not. Their main priority in life is to get likes and followers online even if it comes at the expense of anything horrible.They value their doubts more than their potential.They trust others rather then trusting themselves. Young generation need to come out of this trauma of emotional instability. They need better understanding of their emotions rather then anything else. Young generation need listening ears not the judgmental eyes.
This emotional intelligence is a life saving thing. It should be made compulsory in every schools and colleges. It can do wonders if understood correctly.

Turkish Apple Boycott Sparks New Growth for Kashmir’s Orchardists, Opinion 19 May, 2025 issue

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Turkish Apple Boycott Sparks New Growth for Kashmir’s Orchardists

By: Dr Noour Ali Zehgeer

Jammu and Kashmir has seen many situations, where business like Tourism, Handicrafts and Horticulture have suffered, due to political situations, natural calamities and lack of Infrastructure like Cold storages and Transport facilities. Apple growers have faced price challenges against Iran, American and Domestic products.

A growing boycott of Turkish apples across India is being welcomed as a long-awaited lifeline by Kashmiri apple growers, who have endured years of falling profits due to foreign competition. Driven by geopolitical tensions and recent diplomatic strains between India and Turkey, the shift in trade dynamics is now offering renewed hope for the Valley’s struggling horticulture sector.

This surge of optimism follows India’s military campaign, “Operation Sindoor,” after which Turkey’s vocal support for Pakistan prompted widespread backlash. In response, fruit traders in several key agricultural markets have begun rejecting Turkish apples — a move now creating space for domestic producers to reassert their dominance in Indian markets.

Revival Amidst Crisis

‘’This might be the turning point we’ve been waiting for,” said Bashir Ahmad Basheer, President of the Kashmir Valley Fruit Growers Union. “The influx of cheaper Turkish apples had severely dented our earnings. If a ban or strong restrictions are put in place, we could finally regain lost ground.”

Kashmir accounts for nearly 70% of India’s total apple production, yielding about 1.5 million metric tons annually. Despite this substantial output, local growers have faced steep challenges in recent years. Apple imports from countries like Turkey, particularly varieties such as Delicious and Red Gala that mirror Kashmir’s own offerings, have flooded Indian markets and sold at lower prices, undercutting Kashmiri farmers.

As competition increased, many orchardists saw their income shrink. Skyrocketing input costs including labour, fertilizers, and transport — have further worsened the situation, especially for small and medium-scale growers. Some families even considered abandoning the trade altogether.

Iranian Apples: The Bigger Threat?

While Turkish imports have been the immediate focus of the boycott, local horticulturists emphasize that another player looms even larger: Iranian apples.

“Iranian apples pose the greatest threat to our market,” Basheer added. “They enter India in huge quantities, often through indirect routes, and are priced 15-20% lower than our produce. We’re urging the government to impose a protective import duty on these apples to give Indian growers a fighting chance.”

Growers across Kashmir argue that unless both Turkish and Iranian imports are regulated, local cultivation will continue to suffer. Many believe that the current geopolitical moment should be leveraged to build long-term policies that protect India’s horticulture sector from market flooding and price suppression.

Economic Ripple Effect

Agricultural experts note that any improvement in the apple sector would directly impact Kashmir’s economy, which relies heavily on horticulture. With around 700,000 families in the region involved in apple farming, even modest improvements in pricing can create widespread socio-economic benefits.

“Apple growing is more than just a livelihood here — it’s the backbone of our rural economy,” said a senior agricultural economist based in Srinagar. “Half the population in the Valley is connected to this industry in some way. An upswing in domestic demand and pricing would be transformative.”

Early indications suggest this could be the best harvest in recent years. Weather conditions in spring have been ideal for fruit development, and growers are expecting a bumper crop. If Indian markets continue distancing themselves from Turkish produce, local farmers may be ideally placed to step in and fill the supply gap.

Himachal Pradesh Joins Forces

It isn’t only Kashmiri growers who are demanding action. Apple cultivators from Himachal Pradesh — another major apple-producing state — have also raised the alarm over Turkish imports. In a recent meeting with Union Commerce and Industry Minister Piyush Goyal, representatives of the Himalayan Apple Growers Society submitted a memorandum requesting an immediate ban on Turkish apples. The delegation emphasized that Turkish apples, subsidized by their government, were severely disrupting India’s domestic apple economy. They also raised security concerns, citing Turkey’s military ties with Pakistan.

“Importing goods from a country that supports our adversaries’ compromises both our economy and national interests,” the memorandum stated. “We must prioritize our own farmers and strategic autonomy.”

The Himachal growers stressed that apple cultivation supports millions across the Himalayan belt, and that the current situation is threatening their very survival.

Future at the Crossroads

 

Despite growing optimism, experts caution that the current momentum may not last unless it is institutionalized through policy. While market boycotts are effective in the short term, lasting change will require structured reforms, including import duties, tighter customs monitoring, and government incentives for local horticulture.

“There’s a real opportunity here,” said the economist. “But it has to be seized with clear policy actions, not just emotion-driven boycotts. Otherwise, the same problems will resurface the moment the public attention wanes.”

Farmers and trade unions are now looking toward the Centre, hopeful that the government will take concrete steps to protect India’s apple industry. They are also calling for support in marketing, cold storage infrastructure, and export facilitation to make Indian apples more competitive globally.

A Glimpse of Recovery

For now, Kashmir’s orchards are alive with cautious optimism. In villages across the Valley, apple growers are preparing for the coming harvest with renewed enthusiasm. They hope that a combination of favourable weather, reduced imports, and rising domestic demand will offer a new lease of life to their age-old tradition.

It is very important that Government provide sufficient support in terms of Technology, financial assistance, latest methods to improve production, packaging and Marketing for the Apple Growers, so that revival becomes eminent and prosperity returns to Apple growing districts.

While the future remains uncertain, the boycott of Turkish apples has undeniably shifted the mood — from despair to possibility. Whether this marks a temporary reprieve or the beginning of long-term reform depends on what happens next in Delhi’s corridors of power.

JEE Broke Me , opinion 5 May 2025 issue

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JEE Broke Me: The Dark Side of India’s Coaching Culture”

Musaib Bilal

SUBHEADLINE: How the relentless pressure of competitive exams is pushing students to the brink—and why we need to talk about it.

Ahmad’s Story: Dreams Crushed Under the Weight of JEE

Today I want to tell a story of an everyday guy from India let’s call him Ahmad, Ahmad  was just 17 when he enrolled at Hikers Coaching Institute in Srinagar, dreaming of cracking the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) and securing a seat at an IIT. But within months, his enthusiasm turned into dread.

“Every day felt like a battle I was losing,” he recalls. “The teachers said sleep was for the weak. My parents compared me to cousins who ‘made it.’ And no matter how much I studied, I never felt good enough.”

Ahmad’s story, is not unique. It exposes the brutal reality of India’s JEE coaching industry—where profit trumps pedagogy, and students pay the price with their mental health.

The Coaching Trap: Factories of Stress, Not Success

Coaching centers like Hikers and Shining Star (fictional) promise “guaranteed ranks” but operate like high-pressure assembly lines:

  • Grueling Schedules: Students are pushed to study 18-20 hours a day, surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep. One teacher famously told Ahmad’s class:

“You have to only sleep for three to four hours. The rest is for JEE.”

  • False Promises: Screening tests are often just formalities to fill seats. Ahmad scored 60/360 in his entrance test—yet was declared “passed” and pressured to pay fees immediately.
  • Emotional Blackmail: When Ahmad considered quitting Shining Star, the owner guilt-tripped him:

“We treated you like our child. Is this how you repay us?”

Society’s Role: “If You Don’t Crack JEE, You’re a Failure”

The pressure doesn’t just come from institutes. Families and society reinforce the idea that JEE is the only path to success.

  • Relatives’ Taunts: At a family gathering, Ahmad’s uncle dismissed his aspirations outright:

“He’s got no chance at a good college.”

  • Parental Pressure: His mother fretted over “what people will say” if he failed, while his father dismissed his struggles, calling him a “brat” for wanting rest.
  • The Topper Curse: Even after scoring in the top 5% in his board exams, Ahmad felt worthless—because in the JEE world, “only 100% matters.”

The Mental Health Toll: Anxiety, Burnout, and a Late ADHD Diagnosis

Ahmad’s breaking point came when he realized he couldn’t focus, no matter how hard he tried.

  • Panic Attacks: Before mock tests, his hands would shake uncontrollably. He’d stare at physics problems for hours, unable to solve them.
  • Undiagnosed ADHD: Years of being called “lazy” or “distracted” finally made sense when a therapist diagnosed him with ADHD—a condition his teachers and family had ignored.
  • Suicidal Thoughts: In his lowest moments, he wrote in his journal:

“I promised myself I wouldn’t end my life… but I didn’t know how much longer I could take this.”

The Bigger Picture: Why This System is Failing Our Students

Ahmad’s story is a microcosm of a systemic issue:

  1. Coaching Institutes ≠ Education: They’re businesses, selling dreams while exploiting insecurities.
  2. Society’s Narrow Definition of Success: Engineering or bust—ignoring passions, creativity, and mental well-being.
  3. No Safety Nets: Students crumble under pressure because nobody teaches them how to cope.

The Way Forward: What Needs to Change?

  • Regulate Coaching Centers: Cap study hours, mandate mental health support.
  • Parental Awareness: Success isn’t just a rank. Let kids breathe.
  • Normalize Alternatives: Not every brilliant mind belongs in IIT. Careers in arts, writing, and entrepreneurship matter too.

As Ahmad puts it:

“I thought JEE would decide my future. Instead, it almost destroyed me. We need to stop treating this exam like a life-or-death battle.”

The JEE grind isn’t just about studying hard—it’s about surviving a system that often values ranks over well-being. How many more students like Ahmad will break before we change it?

Why This Matters:
This isn’t just Ahmad’s story. It’s the story of lakhs of Indian students trapped in the same cycle. It’s time to rethink what “success” really means.

2025 Tragedies: The System Still Fails

Despite years of discourse around the flaws in the JEE ecosystem, 2025 proved that little has changed—and if anything, the situation has worsened. A series of heartbreaking events, including falsified results and multiple student suicides, exposed the system’s continued failure to protect those it claims to serve.

  • The False Result Scandal:
  • Suicide Spike:
  • The Kashmir Case: Faisal Bashir’s Death:
    Among the most heartbreaking incidents was that of 19-year-old Faisal Bashir from Gunipora, Kupwara, Kashmir. On April 19, 2025, just a day after the JEE results were announced, Faisal was found dead in his rented room in Dudwana. He had been under significant academic pressure leading up to the examination. Local residents remembered Faisal as a bright and respectful student. His death has sparked widespread concern about the mental health impact of academic pressures in Kashmir.
  • Institutional Apathy:
    Even in the wake of such events, many coaching institutes continued with business-as-usual strategies—focusing on “damage control” PR campaigns rather than genuine reform. Instead of acknowledging their role in the burnout culture, they doubled down on aggressive marketing. Parents were handed new flyers, teachers held pep talks, and students were reminded that “only the weak quit.”

These 2025 incidents reinforce that the JEE system—backed by profit-hungry institutes and societal obsession—remains a deeply harmful machine. It continues to churn out numbers while crushing dreams, sanity, and even lives.

 

 

The Rising Tide of Domestic Violence Against Women in Kashmir, Opinion 12 May,2025 issue

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The Rising Tide of Domestic Violence Against Women in Kashmir

By Farzana Mumtaz

Domestic violence is enemy of humanity.

In recent years, Jammu and Kashmir has witnessed a troubling surge in domestic violence cases against women, reflecting deep-seated societal challenges and the lingering impacts of prolonged conflict.

Escalating Incidents and Underreporting

 

Data from the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) indicates a consistent rise in crimes against women in the region, with approximately 12,000 cases reported over the past three years. These include molestation, rape, domestic violence, and abduction. However, experts suggest that the actual numbers are likely higher due to underreporting, as many victims remain silent owing to societal pressures and stigma .

Support Mechanisms and Their Challenges

 

To address this crisis, the government has established One Stop Centres (OSCs) across Jammu and Kashmir. These centers offer immediate assistance, including medical care, legal advice, police support, mental health counseling, and short-term shelter. Over the past three years, more than 6,400 women have sought help through these centers .

Additionally, the ‘Violence-Free Home – A Woman’s Right’ initiative, launched in 2021, set up special cells within police stations to provide psycho-social-legal support to victims. However, the future of these cells is uncertain, as their funding is set to end, prompting the Jammu and Kashmir government to request an extension from the National Commission for Women .

Societal and Cultural Barriers

 

Cultural norms and societal expectations often deter women from reporting domestic violence. Stigma, fear of retaliation, and the perception of domestic issues as private matters contribute to the silence surrounding these crimes. Moreover, the ongoing conflict in the region exacerbates these challenges, as issues like domestic violence are often overshadowed by larger socio-political crises .

The Plight of ‘Half-Widows’

 

The conflict has also given rise to the phenomenon of ‘half-widows’—women whose husbands have disappeared but are not officially declared dead. These women face legal and social challenges, including difficulties in claiming property rights and accessing government assistance. They often live in precarious conditions, facing economic hardships and social ostracization .

Mental Health Implications

 

The psychological toll of domestic violence is profound. Depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder are common among victims. A 2019 study by Médecins Sans Frontières revealed alarming rates of mental health disorders among women in Kashmir, with domestic violence being a significant contributing factor .

The Way Forward

 

Addressing domestic violence in Kashmir requires a multifaceted approach:

 

  • Strengthening Legal Frameworks: Ensuring the effective implementation of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, and holding perpetrators accountable.
  • Enhancing Support Services: Sustaining and expanding initiatives like OSCs and special cells to provide comprehensive support to victims.
  • Community Engagement: Raising awareness to challenge societal norms that perpetuate silence and stigma around domestic violence.
  • Mental Health Support: Integrating mental health services into support mechanisms for victims to address the psychological impact of abuse.

 

By acknowledging and confronting the multifaceted nature of domestic violence in Kashmir, stakeholders can work towards creating a safer and more equitable environment for women in the region.

 

The rise in domestic violence against women in Kashmir is not merely a statistic—it reflects a deep and persistent crisis rooted in cultural norms, conflict-related trauma, and systemic gaps in protection and support. While efforts like One Stop Centres and legal reforms mark progress, they are not enough in isolation. Sustainable change requires a holistic approach that combines legal enforcement, social awareness, mental health support, and economic empowerment of women. Most importantly, the silence surrounding domestic violence must be broken—by society, by institutions, and by individuals—so that no woman in Kashmir has to endure abuse in silence. Empowering women and addressing the root causes of gender-based violence is essential not just for the safety of individuals, but for the peace and progress of the entire region.

 

Degrees Without Direction: The Employment Drought in Jammu and Kashmir

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Degrees Without Direction: The Employment Drought in Jammu and Kashmir

Rameez Bhat

ramizspeaks77@gmail.com

In the snow carved valleys of Jammu and Kashmir, where rivers run deep and poplars sway, a quiet crisis brews not of storms, but of stifled hopes and unheard voices. From the rugged heights of Gurez to the plains beyond Poonch a generation walks burdened by silent despair. Degrees in hand, ambition in heart but no clear path ahead. A young man in Baramulla dreams of a stable job an honest living. Yet each morning greets him with the same uncertainty. His degrees lies unread, his aspirations slowly fading. His parents encourage him gently urging one more try. But dreams like the autumn Chinar continue to fall. The internet is full of knowledge, his skills are sharp but job opportunities remain scarce. Whether in law, science, arts, technology or trades, the doors seem closed. Academic accolades mean little in a system that offers no outlet. Reports reduce them to numbers, cold statistics in impersonal files. But behind each figure is a son waiting, a daughter hoping. Year after year, promises echo only to fade into bureaucratic silence. Government schemes come with fanfare and slogans, yet the youth still stand in lines, hands empty, spirits worn. In a land so rich in heritage, the irony is stark even the birds seem freer than its young minds.

Leadership remains distant ribbons are cut, photos taken but the real roads remain un-walked. The narrative of “self-reliance” rings hollow when self-sufficiency meets an empty plate. Startups and skilling are often touted, but persistent power cuts and inaccessible loans leave those dreams cold. Policies exist only on paper, while trust and execution are absent.

Time moves forward, yet progress stalls. Traditional crafts are vanishing, artisans left without buyers. Saffron fields lie uncultivated, the markets indifferent. Engineers graduate in droves, but employment evaporates. Tourism gives brief hope, but where is tourism development. The biggest battle today isn’t on borders—it’s in every home, where joblessness eats away at dignity.

A girl in Shopian pours her frustration into poetry, her words sharp and haunting. A boy in Kupwara paints with talent, yet hunger overshadows his creativity. A child in Bandipora whispers, “I’ll leave someday.” But who stays to rebuild if all the hopeful leave? A job isn’t just an income—it’s self-worth, purpose, and peace of mind.

To those in power: awaken. The burdens you don’t bear are crushing the youth. What we need are not just announcements, but real change—visible, sustainable, and sincere. Build institutions that offer more than structure. Nurture creativity, revive local industries, make markets accessible. Trust the old, train the young not every problem is solved with funding alone. We don’t ask for charity or applause. We demand action that lasts.

Let this message be heard—in offices, on screens, in homes. The valley sings, yes, but it also questions. Until every voice is heard, until every talent has a place, this land will ache. Behind every falling Chinar leaf lies buried potential. Jammu and Kashmir doesn’t just need hope it needs opportunity. Let us rise not with false promises, but with real progress. Let the slumber end. Let the state awaken.

 

 

Inclusion for All: Ambedkar’s Vision, Youth Voices, and Autism Awareness Musaib Bilal

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Inclusion for All: Ambedkar’s Vision, Youth Voices, and Autism Awareness

Musaib Bilal

April isn’t only the time to remember the historical legacies such as Dr. B.R. Ambedkar; it is Autism Acceptance and Awareness Month as well — a great reminder that inclusion is neither nice nor desirable, but a requirement. To autistic and other neurodivergent individuals, inclusion can mean empowerment or seclusion. As we celebrate Ambedkar’s dream of equality, we also recommit to building spheres where neurodiverse voices are heard, respected, and cherished.

 

What is Inclusion?

Inclusion is the conscious effort to make spaces where everyone is treated with respect, supported, and enabled to contribute. It involves going beyond tokenism and intentionally breaking down barriers to participate. For autistics, this involves grasping communication difference, sensory requirements, and the need for understanding environments free of judgement and misconception.

Inclusion acknowledges that the world is viewed differently by individuals. Autistic youth, for example, may be confronted by worlds that fail to understand their sensory sensitivities or communication approach. Inclusion honours such differences and adapts to embrace them, not requiring people to conform to traditional norms.

 

Why Inclusion Matters

Exclusion creates isolation, and isolation is hope’s quiet assassin. For autistics, particularly in school and social settings, exclusion most often comes across as being excluded from conversation, possibilities, or even basic interactions. This exclusion stimulates “micro-depressions” — insidious, long-term emotional scars from everyday invalidation and misperception.

In non-inclusive settings, autistic individuals tend to experience “masking,” which involves hiding who they are to blend in. This continuous strain can result in burnout, anxiety, and extreme mental health issues. Inclusion, however, enables individuals to be themselves, minimizing stress and maximizing emotional well-being.

Dr. Ambedkar knew this well. He realized that being kept out of education, decision-making, and society in general was not merely a political wrong but an immense emotional and psychological wound. His struggle for Dalit dignity is akin to the current struggle for autistic acceptance — both are struggles to see the full humanity of all individuals.

 

Dr. Ambedkar and Inclusive Decision-Making

Ambedkar’s contribution to the making of the Indian Constitution was revolutionary. He constructed a system that had dignity and equality at its foundation. He was of the opinion that decision-making must be representative of the diversity of society so that those silenced in the past would be heard.

If Ambedkar were alive today, he would certainly champion inclusive policies that acknowledge neurodiversity and mental health as part of social justice. He would remind us that democracy truly means everyone — not just because of their politics, but also because of their neurological composition.

 

Youth Inclusion and the Role of NSS

Young people are the builders of tomorrow’s inclusive society. Through schemes such as the National Service Scheme (NSS), young people are being taught empathy, service, and active citizenship. NSS programs focused on disability awareness, mental health care, and neurodiversity education are crucial in developing an inclusive society from the ground up.

When youth participate in inclusion initiatives — through autism acceptance drives or establishing sensory-friendly community spaces — they continue Ambedkar’s legacy in effective manners. NSS provides them with the means to convert awareness into action.

 

The Interconnectedness of Youth, Ambedkar, NSS, and Autism Awareness

Ambedkar gave the marginalised the power to take back their place in society. Youth movements, particularly through NSS, have the ability to continue this vision by advocating neurodivergent voices. When young leaders advocate for autism acceptance, they break down destructive stereotypes and create empathetic communities.

 

This connection is cyclical:

Ambedkar’s philosophy instils the value of dignity and representation.

NSS gives the platform to young people to implement these values.

Youth engagement ensures that autism awareness and mental health advocacy remain at the forefront of social change.

Together, they create a force powerful enough to challenge exclusion in all its forms.

 

Oppression, Depression, and the Mental Health Costs of Non-Inclusion

Exclusion is a subtle form of oppression. For autistics, chronic exclusion can create a feeling of invisibility that fuels anxiety and depression. These are usually discounted, being categorized as “micro-depressions” brought about by everyday invalidations and micro-aggressions.

Additionally, chronic micro-aggressions — seemingly minor slighting or belittling remarks — build up over time, solidifying feelings of worthlessness. Identifying these damages is critical if we are to create truly inclusive communities that foster mental health.

Inclusion isn’t merely access; it is affirmation. It is affirming, “You belong here, just as you are.”

 

Towards a Truly Inclusive Future

As we celebrate Autism Acceptance Month and pay tribute to the life and cause of Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, let us pledge to create a society in which inclusion becomes the rule and not the exception. Let us empower our young people, on platforms such as NSS, to spearhead this movement with grit and empathy.

By embracing neurodiversity and acknowledging the deeper effects of inclusion on mental wellbeing, we don’t just reinforce Ambedkar’s legacy — we build a world where any person, wherever they are, whatever they have, can exist with dignity, joy, and belonging.

 

The writer is an author, columnist, speaker and is pursuing Bachelor’s at Amar Singh College. Can be reached at: musaibbilal.216061@gmail.com

Literary Contribution Beyond Books! Publications, Not Necessarily a Contribution

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Literary Contribution Beyond Books!
Publications, Not Necessarily a Contribution
By Nazir Jahangir
Not long ago, someone left a comment on a Facebook post directed at the esteemed intellectual of our valley, Ms. Masooda Rajpuri. The commenter asked, with a tone of sarcasm and derision, “What are your contributions (to literature)?” The remark came from an individual unknown in literary circles, yet it prompted me to reflect on the nature of “contribution” and the misunderstandings surrounding it.
I found myself questioning what the commenter meant by “contribution” and how those with such “curiosities” define intellectual or literary merit?
The remark, though dismissive, led me to explore the deeper implications of this term. After all, does the sun need to prove its existence? Its radiance is proof enough. Similarly, a true intellectual does not need to justify their knowledge—those who recognize their brilliance stand as living testimony.
What Defines a Literary Contribution?
Is contribution merely the act of publishing books? If so, then consider this: Socrates, one of the greatest minds in history, never wrote a single book, yet his wisdom continues to shape human thought. Today, even an uneducated or illiterate person, with the right resources, can publish as many books as they please. Social media is flooded with advertisements from vanity presses offering to publish anything—for a price.
In our region, even schoolchildren from the fifth, eighth, and tenth grades have published books in English. Should we, based solely on these publications, recognize them as literary scholars? Likewise, many individuals manage to get incoherent, substandard writings published in newspapers and pass them off as literature. Should this, too, be considered a contribution?
It astonishes me that those who lack a fundamental understanding of literature are the ones most eager to demand “contributions” from respected intellectuals. The term has become a meaningless buzzword, tossed around by those who have neither insight nor credentials in the field.
A Conversation on “Contribution”
At a literary event, I once encountered a narrow-minded individual who asked, “What is your contribution to literature?” I replied, “If you are the one measuring my literary and intellectual abilities against the scale of your own understanding, then surely, they will amount to nothing—for your scale itself is flawed, incapable of accurate assessment. Now tell me, what is your contribution to literature?”
Proudly, he said, “I have published three books, written many stories, etc., etc.”
I responded, “That is no contribution. Tell me something meaningful—something intellectual, creative, or original that truly qualifies as a contribution.”
He looked perplexed. Hesitant, he admitted, “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Exactly,” I said. “You cannot understand—because if you could, perhaps your so-called contribution would actually hold some value.”
I shared an analogy with him:
“One day, I asked a rooster, ‘You start crowing at dawn, and I’ll address that later, but first, tell me—aside from making noise, do you have anything to boast about?’ The rooster replied, ‘Yes, I have wings, which you do not.’ I said, ‘Indeed, but of what use are they? You can’t even fly as high as a sparrow. The moment you try, you come crashing down. Even a donkey has legs, but if it steps into a river, it will drown within moments—while a fish, without legs, glides effortlessly through the ocean. And then there is the moon, soaring through space without wings, moving gracefully and shining bright.’”
Those who boast about their books, radio and television dramas, and published articles as their “contributions” often fail to understand that true literary excellence, creativity, and wisdom exist on a different plane altogether—one that is, unfortunately, as rare as salt in flour in our valley.
The Intellectual Depth of Ms. Masooda Rajpuri!
I had the privilege of interacting with Ms. Masooda Rajpuri through Facebook for some time. She is an exceptionally intelligent and insightful literary figure, equipped with a profound critical sensibility.
In Kashmir, very few readers, writers, or critics truly grasp the deeper creative and philosophical dimensions of my stories. Yet, I found that whenever I posted a story, Ms. Masooda was the only one who engaged with it meaningfully.
Her critiques were not only remarkable but also deeply analytical—never superficial. She possesses an immense wealth of experience and observation, something that is evident in her assessments.
For me, being convinced by a critique of my work is an extraordinary occurrence, as I rarely find analyses that align with the essence of my writing. Once, a so-called writer told me, “I have read your stories, but they seem pointless.”
I replied, “Sir, if people like you did not exist, stories like The Fox and the Sour Grapes would never have been written! In fact, it is because of people like you that such stories come into being.”
Ironically, he mistook my sarcasm for praise and felt pleased with himself!
Contribution Beyond Publications!
There is a literary association here called the Fiction Writers’ Guild, which is thriving. I attended one of its meetings and noticed that many members, by conventional standards, had no published works. Yet, their level of literary, intellectual, and creative insight far surpassed that of many self-proclaimed writers who boast about their books and papers.
Similarly, in our valley, there is Dr. Wahid, a highly esteemed intellectual. He has no books or papers to his name, yet in serious literary and academic circles, his words command attention. This is because his understanding of literature, philosophy, and global affairs is far deeper than that of many celebrated authors.
True Contribution: A Rarity in Our Times
A literary contribution is not about stacking books on a shelf or seeing one’s name in print—it is about ideas, wisdom, creativity, and intellectual depth. Some of the greatest thinkers in history never wrote a word, yet their influence endures. Meanwhile, countless books are published daily, only to be forgotten the next.
True literary and intellectual contributions are rare, and in Kashmir, they are even rarer. Perhaps this is why those who truly contribute never feel the need to justify themselves—because, like the sun, their brilliance speaks for itself.
At the top of the list stands the esteemed Dr. Ghulam Qadir AIlaqaband Sahib. Although he has no apparent published works, his entire life is, in itself, a library of public service. He is a living treasure of Kashmir’s intellectual, literary, social, medical, and welfare history.
Those who are sincere in their actions and deeds do not seek publicity for their achievements. Their selfless contributions often remain unnoticed, and this is why those who demand recognition for contributions remain unaware of such great personalities.
Among Dr. AIlaqaband’s admirers and students are renowned intellectuals, writers, and respected figures in the social, literary, political, and medical circles. These admirers and well-wishers are, in fact, his true constituency. They are his true works, his real contributions—and I am but a humble admirer among them.
The same is true for Bashir Arif, Majid Asmi, Showkat Farooqi, Peerzada Abdal Mehjor and others. They are the pride of our literary landscape and culture, and no one has the right to demand proof of their contributions. They have already proven their mettle by playing a long and remarkable innings on the literary stage.

Guiding Young Souls : Parenting Amidst Modern Challenges

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Guiding Young Souls: Parenting Amidst Modern Challenges
The Balance Between Modernity and Timeless Islamic Values


AUTHOR: Dr.Fiaz Maqbool Fazili
Parenting is one of the most significant responsibilities entrusted to individuals, shaping not only the lives of children but also the society they grow up in. From an Islamic perspective, parenting is regarded as a sacred duty, as children are seen as a trust (amanah) from Allah. This essay explores the Islamic principles, values, and practices that guide parenting, focusing on the role of parents in nurturing, educating, and shaping the character of their children.

The Concept of Parenting in Islam: In Islam, parenting is rooted in the teachings of the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Allah commands believers to care for their families, as stated in the Qur’an:”O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…” (Qur’an 66:6).This verse highlights the immense responsibility placed upon parents to guide their children toward righteousness and away from harmful actions. Parenting in Islam encompasses both the physical and spiritual development of a child, ensuring their well-being in this world and the Hereafter.

Core Principles of Islamic Parenting Love and Mercy:

The foundation of parenting in Islam is love and mercy. The Qur’an frequently emphasizes the importance of kindness, particularly in the family context. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) demonstrated this through his interactions with children, showing affection, playing with them, and addressing their needs. Parents are encouraged to foster a loving and supportive environment where children feel safe and cherished, striving to maintain a balance between modern challenges and enduring Islamic principles while highlighting the significance of safeguarding and strengthening the family.

Tarbiyah (Holistic Upbringing): Tarbiyah refers to the process of nurturing and developing a child’s character, morals, and faith. This involves teaching children about Islamic values such as honesty, patience, gratitude, and respect. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Sahih al-Bukhari). Parents are thus seen as shepherds, entrusted with guiding their children on the straight path.

Education (Ilm): Seeking knowledge is an obligation in Islam for both men and women. Parents play a crucial role in instilling a love for learning in their children. This includes both religious education, such as teaching the Qur’an and Islamic practices, and secular education, which enables children to contribute meaningfully to society.

Role Modelling: Children learn by observing their parents. The behaviour of parents serves as a practical example of Islamic teachings. For instance, if parents are honest, compassionate, and prayerful, their children are more likely to adopt these qualities. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:”The best of you are those who are best to their families.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi)

Discipline with Wisdom: Discipline in Islam is not about harshness but about guiding children with wisdom and kindness. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) advised against excessive harshness, as it could lead to resentment. Instead, parents are encouraged to use positive reinforcement and gentle reminders to correct behaviour.

Challenges and Solutions in Modern Parenting.
Parenting in the modern world comes with unique challenges, including the influence of technology, peer pressure, and shifting societal norms. From an Islamic perspective, addressing these challenges requires a balance between adhering to religious principles and adapting to contemporary realities.

Technology and Media: While technology offers educational opportunities, it also exposes children to inappropriate content. Parents should monitor their children’s screen time and encourage the use of technology for constructive purposes. Teaching children about Islamic ethics related to technology use, such as avoiding harmful content and respecting privacy, is essential.

Peer Pressure: Children often face peer pressure, which can lead them away from Islamic values. To counter this, parents should foster open communication, providing a safe space for children to discuss their concerns. Encouraging involvement in Islamic community activities can also help children build a supportive network of like-minded peers.

Balancing Work and Family Life: In today’s fast-paced world, parents may struggle to balance their professional responsibilities with family time. Islam emphasizes the importance of spending quality time with family. Simple acts, such as sharing meals, praying together, or engaging in meaningful conversations, can strengthen familial bonds.

Instilling Identity and Faith: In multicultural societies, children may face identity crisis. Parents should instill a strong sense of Islamic identity by teaching them about their faith, culture, and heritage. This includes celebrating Islamic traditions, such as Ramadan and Eid, and encouraging pride in their Muslim identity.

Rewards of Parenting in Islam. Parenting is not only a responsibility but also an opportunity to earn immense rewards. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:”When a person dies, their deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for them.” (Sahih Muslim)

Raising righteous children who contribute positively to society ensures that parents continue to receive blessings even after their passing. Moreover, the effort invested in raising children is considered an act of worship, as long as it is done with sincere intentions.

Parenting – In the Era of Turmoil -Fitnoon Key Door main.Islamic parenting is one of the most significant responsibilities bestowed upon individuals, especially in an era rife with trials and tribulations (fitnoon key door main). The challenges of raising righteous children in today’s morally turbulent world require wisdom, patience, and steadfastness. From an Islamic perspective, parenting is not merely about providing for a child’s physical needs but also nurturing their spiritual, emotional, and intellectual growth in alignment with Islamic teachings. The Qur’an and Sunnah provide clear guidelines for parents to cultivate strong moral character and faith in their children. Allah commands believers to save themselves and their families from the fire (Surah At-Tahrim, 66:6), emphasizing the importance of instilling taqwa (God-consciousness). Parents are role models; their behaviour, words, and actions leave lasting impressions on their children. Practicing kindness, honesty, and humility teaches values far more effectively than mere words.

In the age of social media and distractions, it is crucial to guard children against harmful influences while fostering a love for Islamic knowledge and practices. In today’s fast-paced, digitally driven world, raising children with strong Islamic values while navigating modern challenges is essential. Establishing regular prayer, encouraging Quranic recitation, and engaging in open, respectful communication can fortify their faith. Protect This House essay focuses on equipping parents with the tools to instill faith, discipline, and empathy in their children. Rooted in Islamic principles (Fiqh), this initiative emphasizes: 1. *Faith Foundations*: Teaching children the basics of Iman, Salah, and Quranic values to build a strong spiritual core.  2. *Digital Discipline*: Guiding kids to use technology responsibly while avoiding harmful influences.  3. *Emotional Intelligence*: Encouraging empathy, kindness, and resilience to foster healthy relationships.  4. *Family Bonding*: Prioritizing quality time, open communication, and shared Islamic practices to strengthen family ties.  5. *Critical Thinking*: Helping children navigate modern dilemmas with an Islamic perspective.

Parenting, especially in turbulent times, holds the key, is a sacred trust and a profound test. Through dua, perseverance, and reliance on Allah, parents can raise a generation that upholds Islamic values amidst worldly chaos. Rooted in love, dedication, and adherence to the Qur’an and Sunnah, Islamic parenting nurtures children with compassion, a strong moral foundation, and essential knowledge. While modern challenges may complicate this task, Islam’s timeless teachings offer practical guidance. Beyond shaping children’s lives, parenting is a path to success in this world and the Hereafter, fostering faith-driven, responsible individuals and protecting homes with Islamic values—building a legacy of faith and resilience, one family at a time.

(The writer is a Surgeon at Mubarak Hospital in Srinagar, holds a postgraduate degree in Islamic studies, and writes for social, moral, and religious columns, can be contacted at drfiazfazili@gmail.com.)

 

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Choosing Your Partner Wisely!

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Choosing Your Partner Wisely!
Misconceptions About Freedom of Choice, ** Islamic Freedom vs Western Dating** in Spouse Selection.
This choice is guided by Islamic principles that prioritize **good character (Akhlaq)**, **Honesty**, and **spirituality (Deen)** as key criteria for selecting a spouse.

AUTHOR- DR.FIAZ MAQBOOL FAZILI

Marriage is a socio-sacred institution that plays a pivotal role in the social and spiritual fabric of life. In Islam, choosing a marital spouse is a lifetime and lifestyle decision of great importance, one that should be made with wisdom, sincerity, and faith-based principles. In Islam, the right of a woman to choose her marriage partner is firmly established, emphasizing her consent as a cornerstone of a valid marriage. Contrary to misconceptions, Islam grants both men and women the right to choose their partners, ensuring that consent is a fundamental component of a valid marriage. However, while religious teachings provide clear guidance on choosing a spouse, societal norms and cultural expectations can sometimes lead to confusion or pressure, influencing individuals in ways that may not align with Islamic values. This essay explores the key criteria for choosing a spouse, the misconceptions surrounding freedom of choice, and the societal and religious perspectives that impact this decision. Additionally, it delves into the importance of safety—both emotional and physical—when selecting a life partner.

Key criteria for choosing a spouse especially by followers of faith Islam in materialistic era like today’s is pushed as priority next. Islamic teachings emphasize specific qualities that should be prioritized when selecting a spouse. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:”A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may you be blessed.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim) This hadith highlights that while people may consider various factors when choosing a spouse, the most important criterion should be faith (deen). Below are key aspects that Islam emphasizes:Faith and Spirituality (Deen): A strong connection to faith ensures that both partners share similar values, beliefs, and life goals. A person with a firm religious foundation is more likely to uphold justice, kindness, and responsibility in marriage.Good Character (Akhlaq): Character defines how a person treats their spouse and others around them. Qualities such as honesty, patience, respect, and humility contribute to a stable and loving marriage.A successful marriage is built on trust, which requires both partners to be truthful, honest  and dependable. Deception or dishonesty of any kind can lead to instability and emotional distress.

Compatibility: While faith is the most critical factor, compatibility in lifestyle, values, and long-term goals enhances mutual understanding and happiness in marriage. Compatibility in marriage goes beyond faith—it extends to lifestyle, values, personality , mindset, attitude and long-term goals, fostering mutual understanding and happiness. No two individuals, not even identical twins, share identical behaviors and attitudes. Differences are inevitable, making compromise, tolerance, coexistence, and sacrifice essential for a lasting relationship. Resilience helps couples navigate challenges, ensuring love and respect remain intact. To sustain and nurture a successful marriage, one must set aside egos and materialistic concerns, prioritizing emotional connection and mutual growth. Just as a well-fitted pair of shoes brings comfort, a relationship thrives when both partners adjust and walk together in harmony.

Family Considerations and Support: While Islam allows individual choice, it also encourages considering family opinions. A spouse who respects their partner’s family is more likely to foster a harmonious relationship, sadly haughtiness of “tribe, sects and certain families erroneous belief of privileged ones especially whose family name ends with  letter “I “Financial and Emotional Stability: A potential spouse should be emotionally mature and capable of fulfilling their responsibilities, ensuring that the marriage is not burdened with undue hardship.

Misconceptions About Freedom of Choice in Marriage; Freedom ≠ Western Dating Culture; One of the most common misconceptions is equating the Islamic approach to marriage with restrictive or forced marriages. However, Islam upholds the freedom of choice while providing guidelines to ensure a successful and righteous union.Islamic freedom in marriage does not mean unrestricted relationships or casual dating. Instead, it promotes a structured approach where interactions are conducted within ethical boundaries to ensure mutual respect and dignity.

Parental Consent vs. Forced Marriage: Islam encourages parental guidance but strictly prohibits forced marriages. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) annulled a marriage in which a woman was married without her consent, reaffirming her right to choose (Sunan Abu Dawood,).

Cultural Pressures vs. Islamic Teachings: In some cultures, marriage decisions are influenced by wealth, social status, or tribal affiliations rather than faith and character. Such practices contradict Islamic teachings, which prioritize righteousness over materialistic concerns.

Societal Norms and Their Impact on Choosing a Spouse; Societal expectations often shape how individuals perceive marriage. Some cultural norms align with Islamic teachings, while others create obstacles that contradict faith-based principles. Below are some societal factors affecting marriage choices: Materialism and Status: Many societies place undue emphasis on financial status, leading individuals to prioritize wealth over character. This can result in relationships that lack genuine compatibility and spiritual connection.Unrealistic Beauty Standards: Social media and mainstream culture often promote superficial beauty standards, leading individuals to prioritize appearance over faith and values. This can divert attention from what truly sustains a marriage—character and compatibility. Family Expectations: While parental approval is important, excessive family pressure can lead to forced or compromised choices. Islam encourages balance—seeking family support while ensuring that the final decision aligns with Islamic principles.Fear of Social Judgment: Some individuals make marital decisions based on societal approval rather than personal compatibility. This can lead to unhappy marriages where expectations are met for external validation rather than genuine partnership.

Ensuring Safety in Choosing a Marital Spouse; Marriage should be a source of security, love, and companionship. Ensuring safety—both emotionally and physically—is crucial when selecting a life partner. Here are some key considerations: Background Checks and Family Inquiry: Islam encourages investigating a potential spouse’s background to ensure they possess good character and intentions. Seeking information from reliable sources, such as family and community members, can help in making an informed decision.Observing Behavior in Different Settings: A person’s behaviour in social settings, with family, friends, especially where opinions differ( small small fighting’s)  and under stress, reveals much about their character. If someone exhibits aggression, dishonesty, or disrespect, these are warning signs that should not be ignored.

Open and Honest Communication: Before marriage, both individuals with consent of parents should discuss within permissible limits of sharia the key aspects of life, including faith, family expectations, financial responsibilities, and personal goals. Transparency minimizes misunderstandings later in marriage. This one action has proved successful in maintaining a successful relationship.

Recognizing Red Flags: Some behaviors indicate potential danger in a relationship, including: Controlling or manipulative tendencies; Disrespect towards family or elders; History of substance abuse, dishonesty or violence illegal relationships (living or otherwise) Refusal to communicate openly, hiding some adverse information(health or other)which can affect marital bondage.

Involving Trusted Elders or Advisors: Seeking advice from knowledgeable and trustworthy elders or religious scholars always provide valuable insights into making the right choice.

Spiritual Guidance and Prayer (Istikhara): Seeking divine guidance through prayer (Salat al-Istikhara) is an essential step in making a wise marital decision. Placing trust in Allah ensures that the choice is made with sincerity and faith.

Choosing a marital spouse is a significant decision that requires a balance of faith, wisdom, and personal conviction. Islam provides clear guidance on the qualities to seek in a spouse—faith, character, honesty, and compatibility—while also emphasizing the importance of individual choice and consent. Societal norms should be evaluated critically, ensuring that cultural expectations do not override religious principles.Furthermore, prioritizing safety in selecting a partner is essential to fostering a secure and fulfilling marriage. Open communication, background verification, and spiritual guidance help ensure a successful union. By adhering to Islamic teachings and making informed choices, individuals can build marriages that are rooted in love, trust, and long-term harmony.Ultimately, choosing a spouse wisely is not just about finding a life partner but about building a relationship that aligns with one’s faith, values, and long-term aspirations. By placing trust in Allah and following the principles of Islam, one can ensure a marriage that brings peace, joy, and spiritual growth.

The author is a surgeon at Mubarak hospital, Member of GCC- Group of Concerned citizens  contributing Social. Moral, Religious columns can be reached at drfiaZfazili@gmail.com)

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Dr.Fiaz Maqbool Fazili  MBBS; MS(SKIMS);FICS;FICA(USA) MAMS;DTQM; CQPH;FISQua;CTQM;(Q&A)

 Senior Consultant Surgeon (Surgical Gastroenterology; Onco-Surgery; Breast, ,GIT,Hernia; Diabetic foot ,Wound care  & Minimal access;&  Gen;Surgery problems);

Clinical auditor &  Consultant ; Hospital & Healthcare Policy Planning; Patient safety &Quality care(QPS) Improvement.
Certified Quality Professional (Specialist)  for Healthcare & Strategic Hospital (healthcare operations & Accreditation; Disaster Management Planning;

Advocate Patient & Family rights(satisfaction ;Experience; Malpractice ) Patient counseling &-Second opinion);

Advisor  & Executive member, Board of Directors for Hospital projects -NGOs(Charitable or Business model

Ex Consultant Surgery SKIMS Soura & As Consultant King Fahd Hospital Madina Munawarah  ;Member international tumor Board;Breast cancer awareness programme; President WALS; World association of Laparoscopic surgeons- Ks chptr;

Ex.Director ;TQM & Hospital Policy planning, Healthcare Standards and Patient Care,Safety improvement; Structure(building),Policy; Procedures(Protocol’s) and Operations,Quality management & Control; t,Patient experience.(KFH Medina-ten years);

Risk manager & Accreditation supervisor(Team leader) ;Helps hospitals to prepare to achieve  NABH/JCI /CBAHI Accreditation& .Patient safety;

Review Editor International Journal of Emergency,Trauma;Shock(JETS);Min Invasive Surgery Annals of Surgery; Annals of Saudi Medicine;Ind JR of Surgery;

Newspaper and Social media Columnist, blogger Healthcare(cancer awareness & prevention) Improvement of   Healthcare-standards ,Safety; Moral Ethics in healthcare &  hospitals.

 

Empty Nest Syndrome

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Empty Nest Syndrome: A Harsh Reality – Denial or Acceptance?
Are Old Age Homes Stigmatized in Kashmiri Society? Let’s Reframe Them as ‘Happy Homes for Dignified and Healthier Living'”
AUTHOR; Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili

Empty Nest Syndrome, a term often used to describe the profound sense of loss and loneliness experienced by parents when their children leave home, is becoming an increasingly harsh reality in modern societies. While the phenomenon transcends cultural boundaries, its impact in a closely-knit and tradition-bound society like Kashmir is particularly poignant. In Kashmir, suggesting “old age homes” is stigmatized as neglecting parents and evading children’s responsibilities, clashing with cultural and religious values. Yet, elderly parents often face loneliness and isolation as family structures change and children migrate. The solution lies in reimagining these facilities—not as “old age homes” but as healthier homes for dignified living. Community-funded centres rooted in Kashmiri culture and Islamic values can offer companionship, care, and safety without alienating families. These spaces, designed for social engagement and well-being, complement familial care, ensuring elderly parents age with dignity, bridging the gap between tradition and modern necessity. This writeup explores the challenges faced by aging parents, especially in the context of the shifting dynamics of family structures, societal stigmas, and the lack of adequate support systems, and proposes practical solutions to ensure healthier homes for aging with dignity.

The Grim Realities of Aging in Kashmir; A Real Story: Engineer Khan Sahib and His Wife; Engineer A.R. Khan Sahib (name changed) and his wife, a retired teacher, exemplify the struggles faced by elderly parents in Kashmir. Once vibrant and full of life, the couple now spends their days in solitude. Their four children, all successful professionals, live abroad as non-resident Kashmiris (NRKs). In the past, Khan Sahib and his wife would spend months each year visiting their children, staying with them in turns, but this year they have chosen not to. Despite the children’s best efforts—providing modern amenities, financial support, and scheduling frequent WhatsApp and FaceTime calls—the emptiness and loneliness in the couple’s lives are palpable. Their story is not an isolated one; it is a reflection of the growing disconnect between elderly parents and their children, exacerbated by globalization and modern lifestyles.

The Stigma of “Old Age Homes” in Kashmiri Society; Kashmir, a predominantly Muslim society, places a high value on familial bonds and obedience to parents, as emphasized in Islamic teachings. In this cultural and religious context, the idea of sending parents to an “old age home” is stigmatized and considered disrespectful. This stigma often leads to denial about the realities of aging and the need for structured care facilities.

However, the reality is starkly different. Families are increasingly nuclear, children are often geographically distant, and relatives and neighbours rarely have the time to engage with the elderly. Traditional support systems like social workers, Mohalla committees or close-knit extended families have eroded. The elderly are left to navigate their later years in isolation, with limited opportunities for social interaction or community engagement.

Loneliness: A Growing Public Health Concern; A report published in the,” Lancet,” world’s best medical magazine highlights loneliness as a significant public health issue, predicting it will become one of the leading disorders in the coming years. Prolonged loneliness can lead to a range of health issues, including depression, anxiety, cardiovascular diseases, and cognitive decline.

For elderly individuals, loneliness is not just a psychological state but a silent epidemic that compromises their overall well-being. In Kashmir, the lack of structured social spaces for senior citizens further exacerbates this issue. Unlike metropolitan areas like Delhi, which boast senior citizen clubs and community centres, Kashmir offers few, if any, avenues for the elderly to engage in meaningful social activities.

Healthier Homes for Dignified Living: A Viable Solution; The term “old age home” may be stigmatized, but the concept of “healthier homes for dignified living” could be an acceptable alternative. Such facilities can provide a sense of community, care, and companionship, addressing the loneliness that many elderly individuals experience.

Advantages of Healthier Homes, (just Temporary as daily visit or permanent ones) ;1. Social Interaction: Dedicated spaces for elderly individuals foster socialization. Activities like group discussions, cultural events, and recreational games can create a sense of belonging and purpose.2. Physical and Mental Well-being: Facilities can include health monitoring, exercise sessions, and mental health support, ensuring that residents maintain a healthy lifestyle.3. Safety and Security: Many elderly individuals feel unsafe living alone, especially in rural or isolated areas. Healthier homes offer a secure environment with round-the-clock assistance.4. Preservation of Dignity: Unlike the traditional concept of old age homes, these facilities can be designed to respect the cultural and religious values of the community, ensuring that residents feel valued and respected.

Debating the Necessity of Structured Care;
A).Arguments Against Healthier Homes-1.Cultural and Religious Opposition: Critics argue that the concept is incompatible with Kashmiri traditions and Islamic values, which emphasize familial care.2.Financial Burden: Many families may not be able to afford the costs associated with such facilities.3.Perceived Abdication of Responsibility: Sending parents to a structured care facility is often seen as shirking the moral and religious duty of children to care for their aging parents.

B.) Counterarguments; 1. Adaptation to Modern Realities Not Denial mode; The migration of children and the breakdown of traditional family structures necessitate alternative solutions. Healthier homes are not a replacement for familial care but a supplement to it.2. Community-Centric Approach: Facilities can be community-funded and operated, reducing the financial burden on individual families. 3.Changing Perceptions: Awareness campaigns can help reduce the stigma associated with structured care, emphasizing that such facilities enhance dignity and quality of life.

Stories of Hope: Successful Models to Emulate.

Delhi’s Senior Citizen Clubs: In Delhi and other metropolitan areas, senior citizen clubs provide a space for elderly individuals to interact, share experiences, and participate in various activities. These clubs have proven to be effective in combating loneliness and improving the mental health of participants.

Islamic Alternatives: In many Muslim-majority countries, community-funded elder care facilities operate within the framework of Islamic values. These institutions prioritize respect, care, and companionship, aligning with the principles of familial obligation while addressing practical realities.

A Vision for Kashmir; A similar model can be implemented in Kashmir, with modifications to suit the local culture and religious sensitivities. Community rooms, senior citizen clubs, or Mohalla-based activity centres can provide much-needed support and engagement for the elderly.

Recommendations for Action; 1.Community Involvement: Encourage local mosques, Mohalla committees, and NGOs to establish community rooms and activity centres for the elderly.2.Government Support: Advocate for government-funded initiatives to create and maintain healthier homes for dignified living.3.Education and Awareness: Conduct awareness campaigns to reduce the stigma associated with structured elder care and emphasize its benefits.4.Integration with Religious Values:

Design facilities and programs that align with Islamic teachings, have a place with prayer ior reading room /library facilities ensuring that residents feel respected and valued.

Technology as a Bridge: While technology cannot replace human interaction, it can be used to facilitate virtual community-building and engagement for homebound elderly individuals.

Food For Thought; Empty Nest Syndrome is a harsh reality, especially in a society like Kashmir, where traditional values are colliding with modern challenges. Denying the loneliness and isolation faced by aging parents does a disservice to their dignity and well-being. While the term “old age home” may carry a stigma, the concept of “healthier homes for dignified living” provides a viable solution that balances cultural values with practical needs.

By embracing structured care facilities and creating spaces for social interaction, we can ensure that our elderly not only age with dignity but also rediscover a sense of purpose and belonging. In the words of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):”He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honor the elderly.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1919)

The time to act is now—to transform loneliness into companionship, despair into hope, and isolation into community ,hollow criticism is easy what we need “viable solutions to the growing problem.
. (Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili is a medical doctor at Mubarak Hospital, a member of the Group of Concerned Citizens, and a columnist who actively contributes to discussions on moral, social, and religious issues. He can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com or via Twitter @drfiazfazili.)