Nazima Parray

I was waiting for you Prem, where have you been. Oh you thought today you will complete your poem without reading it to me. How is that possible Qadir, you have always been my inspiration if I am the first verse of my poetry you are the last one and my poetry is incomplete without you; our life is meaningless without each other. Every day these two friend’s used to spend lots of time this way cracking jokes, sharing every joy and sorrow and moreover Prem’s poetry .The have strange connection with each other and it was only Qadir who could understand every verse of Prem’s poetry. They were sharing this bond from the day when both Qadir and Prem used to cross miles from their homes only to get halwa from the lady who used to distribute that on every Thursday in the shrine of  SHAHI HAMDAN (RA).Qadir and prem met for the first time in the same shrine  when  Prem fell on ground and Qadir helped him to get up. Qadir shared his share of  halwa with prem from  then they were friends and still shared the same care and affection  towards each other. Their friendship had set example for everyone known to them and everyone respected them a lot. Prem Nath was living alone because his only son had settled in abroad after marriage. This separation of Prem from his son Bablu had made him vulnerable but he didn’t want to express it to anyone without Qadir because only he felt what Prem was going through. After his wife death he had grown sad after all she was his only support after Bablu. Qadir was also living with his son but his life was worse than Prem. Both were going through the same pain. Prem has started writing poetry after his wife’s death. He used to go every evening to Qadir home to read out his poetry to him. This had now become part of their life. One day Qadirs daughter in law came and insulted Prem and accused him to keep his father in law busy with  what she called  filthy things. She told Qadir to be of some use to them by helping her in home chorus. Prem left without uttering a word and that night they both wept till dawn. Qadir decided to talk to his son suhail about this but of no use to him. Suhail favored Prem sons for leaving his unproductive father to have better future. He wanted Qadir to be of some help to his wife. From that day Qadir and Prem decided to meet under the shades of chinar tree far from their houses. Because of their old age it was becoming difficult for them to cross such long distance but both used to hold each other hands to reach to their favorite place. Qadir I am not able to complete this poem I tried a lot to write but couldn’t, it’s because I was not with you Prem told Qadir. You know very well you are the first verse and I am the last we will complete it together. Prem further told Qadir that Bablu has left me all alone here knowingly how much I need him at this stage of life. Your Bhabhi also left me alone and my only son didn’t want me to stay with them. Qadir I think your bhabhi wants me to accompany her now time has arrived, Prem don’t talk like this we have still long way to go together ,Qadir told. Prem told Qadir I have one last wish I don’t want my son to fulfill my last ritual I want you to do everything after my death and believe me you have always been a true and sincere friend with this Prem breathed his last in Qadir’s  lap. Qadir was completely broken after Prem’s death. Every day he used to go to the same place where his best friend breathed his last he wanted to complete the poem which Prem left incomplete. One day while sitting there he saw prem coming from ahead, he sat beside Qadir and was smiling at him, you must be missing me said Prem . Prem I want you to complete that poem which you left incomplete he put his head on Prem’s shoulder lets complete it together Qadir had smile on his face and completed the poem.

By Beenish parray

Women, who are embodiment of ‘frailty’ and patience, can be seen in the shape of a mother, a sister, a daughter and a wife or a better-half that is she has to play different roles at different stages of life. She forms the most important part of society. But women often have to encounter wild behavior from fellow humans.

As if crowd and scorching heat were not enough, that a skinny boy with suffocating smell, started touching the girl sitting beside me. At first it seemed an accidental touch but repetition made his intentions clear. When for the third time he repeated his gesture, the girl’s patience broke down and in a fit of anger she slapped the guy. Everyone in the bus was stunned. After a few heated arguments, the boy left the bus. After a while the people started talking about her clothes and scarf less hair. Soon their discussion reached to the moral of girl. I could see her tearful eyes. She could not hold herself anymore and left the bus. I hurtfully sighed on the plight of living in patriarchal society. This incident prompted me to put down these lines.

Kashmir is a land of peace and conflict tradition and culture. Butthe bitterest truth of those is Patriarchy, According to Wikipedia the word Patriarchy means ‘the rule of father’. However in modern times it generally refers to social system in which power is held by men. Our society hasfailed to accept the most important fact morality and culture are conditional. Kashmir has always been known as land of saints and religious interpretations have always favored men. This probably gives them the power to mould religion according to their will. Male ego and suppression of feelings are their methods of practicing patriarchy. The irony is that females participate in patriarchy more than men do in my society. They have confused modernization with vulgarity. The rights of women are non-existent here women have no right to even advise on household matters let alone make decisions. Even in the freedom struggle of Kashmir, women also suffered a lot.

They have to take permission of their father in law or brother in law or husband or even son to visit their parental house. Actually for equality to persist no permission is to be sought. Many of us have accepted it as a destined matter. Women must fight constantly for their rights. Men don’t have to fight for their place in society like women. Patriarchy is also found in family traditions like women taking the name of their husbands, and children always carry the father’s name. Most women choose to retain their maiden names in order to maintain their identity. With reference to Mr and Mrs. So and so and assumes the dominant role again and women loses. Women may never truly win over patriarchy but they must continue to hold their ground whenever possible to change the tide in our society. It takes only small steps to start with and women who are bold and do not give in to men and their power, there is a chance that women and men can be equals in life…

“Behind every successful man

There is a hand of women.”

Arshie Qureshi

With the entire cricket buzz around, it never happened to be the sort of thing that attracted my attention. Odd? Yes of course. Very rare for any Kashmiri. We all have close memories associated with cricket here in the valley. From the stressing over India Vs Pak matches that make the streets look deserted as if no life exists here to the young boys playing cricket in congested lanes of the old city, everything gives a sense that cricket circulates in blood of locals.

At 12 I would sit and watch the game and would also bite my nails every now and then. The inside of my wardrobe was fully covered with collages of pictures of sports personalities. That was when I was practically able to go out in the field during my leisure time and engage in sports related activities. However eventually I got confined to playing indoor games and playing an outdoors meant only at school. And all of this happened because I belong to a gender that hardly finds any space to live up the game practically.

Before this time I would accompany my uncle and cousin brother to a nearby playfield to play cricket and I would also participate. But one fine day the things changed radically. Once I hit the adolescence, I was no longer allowed to go the field. Not only did my parents obstruct but it was also the people out there in the field. Months back I would play with these men without anyone whistling and passing indecent remarks. But now there was an effort made by the males in the field to make me conscious of my sexuality. Others suddenly found it uncomfortable to play in my presence there.

The day it became something that I couldn’t continue because of me being a girl was when I tore down all the posters and lost the passion for the game. It turned out to be a big disappointment when whether or not I enjoy a game had to be decided by my gender. Such narrative is valid for many other girls who come to be sidelined from sports as they grow up.

A number of women from the valley have participated in sports such as cricket, basketball and volleyball but a number of games, markedly after a certain age limit, are still considered to be inconsistent with the social view of women. Lack of interest is in hindsight an irrational justification for excluding girls from sports.  Although the sports organizers, coaches, school and college physical educationists always try and forge an optimistic path towards participation of girls in sports, the lack of complimentary infrastructure is what holds them back.

Things were a bit different at college. They always provided proper sporting facilities but at the same time it became more disappointing to take in when outside college when I failed to find adequate facilities available in the state at large to keep my practice going. Once college shut, I could hardly find appropriate space to keep on playing. Not that I am associated with a particular game but for the purpose of leisure I always found a huge lag in the space where I could go and spend time. While most of the men stroll down lanes to playfields and parks in late evenings and play light games for refreshment after exhausting summer days, women miss out any such opportunities. I walk past one or more groups of males of all ages playing cricket on streets….they go out to play even during hartals. I, on the other hand, let alone playing on streets, cannot find any amicable space to hang out with my group.

For various reasons women often find their passage to sports blocked most obvious among them being the lack of playfields exclusive for women. The traditional grip over the society calls for gender segregation at various levels with most obvious being the segregation in sports. On one hand, men and women don’t take part in sports side by side on the other hand; there are no adequate sports facilities like playfields available for women. Although no field has explicitly been designated to men, most of them are taken over by men as their exclusive playfields. Even if the women attempt to grab the opportunity to benefit from these fields, the atmosphere would not be very conducive, both in terms of her their own comfort levels as well as in terms of societal perception.

Even if women moved into playfields with boys, there are certain specific apparels that any sport demands to fit particular needs. However, the kind of apparels that a particular game demanded and the kind of apparel that would generally be acceptable in a traditionalist society controvert. By and large, women would not be at easy playing dressed in these apparels in presence of male counterparts.

One of the most consistent forms of discrimination is in the social role forced upon women throughout the history. This discrimination has as well been reflected in sports through their limited participation.. Though the sporting world changed greatly and the participation of women in sports has dramatically changed in last few years, the quest for equalizing women’s opportunities in sports in the valley is still short of its goal. With several crucial steps in the direction, not only the participation of women can be improved but also an ideal provision for leisure can be constituted.