News Kashmir Magazine

Respect for Parents — Especially in Old Age
Modern Times — Busy Lives, Forgotten Bonds,Values ignored
By Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili

In every religion, culture, and civilization, reverence for parents stands as one of the most sacred moral duties. It forms the foundation of humanity and defines the moral health of a society. Yet Islam raises this obligation from the realm of social ethics to that of divine worship. The Qur’an makes this relationship inseparable from the faith itself: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents.” This verse places obedience to parents immediately after obedience to Allah. It is not merely advice; it is a command — a reflection of divine will. To honor one’s parents, therefore, is not an act of courtesy but an act of worship.

The Season of Their Fragility-In childhood, our parents are our shield — they protect, nurture, and provide. But as they grow old, the shield weakens, the hands that once guided begin to tremble, and the voices that once instructed now seek reassurance. This is the stage when duty reverses — the child becomes the guardian. Yet, in today’s world of busyness and distraction, many fail to recognize this sacred moment. The Qur’an beautifully instructs: “If one or both of them reach old age while with you, do not even say ‘uff’ to them, nor rebuke them, but speak to them with gentleness and honor.”The Arabic expression “uff” may seem small, but it represents every sigh of annoyance, every gesture of irritation, and every trace of disrespect. Islam, in its unmatched depth of compassion, forbids even the faintest sign of impatience toward one’s parents.

When Parents Weep, Heaven Watches-The tears of a parent, especially when caused by the harshness of a child, do not go unnoticed by the heavens. The Prophet Muhammad saw said:
“The father is the middle gate of Paradise; lose it if you wish, or preserve it.” In another Hadith, he warned: “The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the father, and His displeasure lies in the father’s displeasure.” What greater testimony could there be to the sacredness of parental love? To please one’s parents is to please Allah Himself; to hurt them is to risk divine wrath. A parent’s pain echoes in eternity, and their silent prayers — or their silent grief — can shape a child’s destiny.

The Sin That Weighs Heavily-The Prophet Muhammad saw included disobedience to parents among the gravest of sins:“The greatest sins are associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents.” To disregard or disrespect one’s parents, therefore, is no small moral lapse — it is a spiritual disaster. The gravity of this sin lies not only in words or actions but also in indifference. The child who neglects an aging parent, who turns away when their voice calls, commits a silent form of cruelty.

The Power of Words-Language carries the weight of the heart. The Qur’an commands: “Speak to them words of kindness.” . Words can soothe or scar, build or break. Even a single sharp phrase can wound a parent more deeply than physical pain. True respect lies not in loud declarations of love, but in the tone of our everyday speech — in gentleness, patience, and gratitude. The Qur’an further instructs: “And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy.” This image of lowering one’s “wing” captures the very essence of humility — to bow in affection, to serve without ego, and to speak with tenderness.

Old Age — Their Test, Our Opportunity-Many views old parents as a burden, but in truth, they are a divine test of character. Their dependence is not a trial for them, but for us. The Prophet Muhammad saw said:“May his nose be rubbed in dust — the one who finds his parents in old age, one or both, and yet does not enter Paradise through them.” Their frailty is our chance for salvation. Serving them, feeding them, or simply sitting beside them can open the gates of Paradise.

Remembering Their Sacrifices-No matter how high a child climbs in life, he stands upon the shoulders of his parents’ sacrifices. The sleepless nights of a mother, the tireless labor of a father, the quiet prayers whispered in the dark — these are debts no currency can repay.The Qur’an reminds us:
“We have enjoined upon man kindness to his parents. His mother carried him/her in hardship upon hardship.” Their love was never conditional. They stood by us when the world turned away. To forget them in their frailty is to forget our own roots.

Love Beyond Death-The bond between parent and child does not end with the grave. The Prophet Muhammad saw  said:“When a person dies, his deeds end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.” A prayer whispered for one’s deceased parents travels beyond the veil of mortality. It becomes a light in their graves and a source of continuing mercy. To pray for them is to keep their memory alive in the most sacred way.

A World of Distraction, A Generation of Forgetfulness-Today’s world, with its constant noise, ambition, and self-centred pace, has produced a tragic paradox — parents surrounded by family, yet utterly alone. The same homes they built brick by brick have become places of isolation. Screens glow brighter than smiles, and conversations have turned to messages.Our elders sit quietly, longing for the warmth of a child’s presence, not their presents. They do not seek money, luxury, or recognition — they seek attention, kindness, and companionship. When they speak, they do not wish to be corrected, only to be heard. Their stories, repeated a hundred times, are not forgetfulness but a longing to relive moments when life still had meaning.Neglecting parents in their old age is one of the gravest moral crises of our times. It reflects a society that has lost its sense of gratitude. A culture that forgets its elders has no right to expect mercy from its youth.

Paradise Beneath Their Feet-The Prophet Muhammad saw proclaimed: “Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.” Beneath those tired, cracked feet lies a lifetime of love, sacrifice, and prayer. And beneath a father’s silent labour lies the shade that once sheltered our childhood. When a parent’s eyes well up because of a child’s indifference, those tears rise to the heavens, not the floor. They reach the Throne of the Most Merciful.

Let us, therefore, not wait for their absence to realize their worth. Love them in their presence. Sit beside them, listen, and serve them without condition. For whoever pleases his parents has pleased Allah — and whoever breaks their hearts has dimmed the light of his own destiny.

Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili is a physician and columnist who writes on ethics, faith, and social concerns. He can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com.