News Kashmir Magazine

            The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.

Dr Suhaib Ashraf Bhat
Love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more than a fleeting emotion as portrayed on television, the big screen, and romance novels. Feelings come and go, but a true decision to be committed lasts forever—and that is what defines healthy marriages.Marriage is a decision to be committed through the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. When things are going well, commitment is easy. But true love is displayed by remaining committed even through the trials of life. Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything in a successful marriage. But unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but trust always takes time. Trust is only built after weeks, months, and years of being  who you say you are and doing what you say you’ll do. It takes time, so start now—and if you need to rebuild trust in your relationship, you’ll need to work even harder. Although it will never show up on any survey, more marriages are broken up by selfishness than any other reason. Surveys blame it on finances, lack of commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility, but the root cause for most of these reasons is selfishness. A selfish person is committed only to himself or herself, shows little patience, and never learns how to be a successful spouse. Give your hopes, dreams, and life to your partner. And begin to live life together.We all have weaknesses and relationships always reveal these faults quicker than anything else on earth. An essential building block of a healthy marriage is the ability to admit that you are not perfect, that you will make mistakes, and that you will need forgiveness. Holding an attitude of superiority over your partner will bring about resentment and will prevent your relationship from moving forward.
The general principle according to which a man should conduct his spending is the same general principle according to which he should conduct his life, which is the middle way and moderation. Allah swt, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those, who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes)” [al-Furqaan 25:67]. The middle way and moderation cannot be identified by specific amounts or specific limits, that if a person oversteps that mark he can be described as being extravagant and if he falls short of it then he is being a miser or niggardly; rather that varies according to the individual’s situation, whether he is rich or poor, whether it is a case of ordinary expenses or an emergency. It also varies from one place to another, one time to another, and so on. The ruling on whether something is extravagance or not takes into account all of these things. Allah swt, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah swt has given him. Allah swt puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7].Secondly:One of the things that people have gone too far in, until they reached the level of extravagance and excess, is the matter of exaggerating concerning the mahar, and being extravagant in clothing, wedding feasts, and so on. The knowledgeable and wise people have started to complain about this because of the many evil consequences to which it leads, such as many women remaining unmarried, because many men cannot afford the expenses of getting married, which leads to many kinds of evil consequences. Scholars, Philosophers and Writers are urging people not to be extravagant in wedding parties and other expenses that have to do with weddings in general. All of them suggest that this is one of the factors that make the issue of marriage complicated for those who want to get married, to such an extent that the numbers of young women who remain unmarried have increased. The most blessed marriage is that which is affordable; the less the expenses are, the greater the blessings. Going to extremes in dowries and competing in offering lavish wedding feasts leads to overstepping the mark, and because there are so many celebrations that are done before and after the wedding, and because of what accompanies that of haraam things that lead to immorality, such as singing and mixing between men and women on some occasions, and men serving women in hotels if the party is held in a hotel, which is regarded as one of the greatest of evils, and because going that path of extravagance means that many people are unable to afford the expenses of marriage and indeed this indecent extravagance may lead to many young people, both boys and girls, going astray.There should be a ban on extravagance and overstepping the mark with regard to wedding feasts. People should be warned against that through the officials who record marriages and through the media. People should be encouraged to lower the dowry and extravagance in such matters should be discouraged from the minbars of the mosque, in learning circles and through the media. Wedding parties are among the things in which it is prescribed to express happiness and joy and to instil that in the family and the wife, but that does not mean that one should fall into extravagance or spend unnecessarily. The argument that it is only once in a lifetime cannot be an excuse to spend too much. Being extravagant only once is not allowed and is haraam, just as being extravagant more than once is repeatedly falling into something that is not allowed and is haraam. The evil consequences of exaggerating concerning dowries are well known. How many free, chaste women have been prevented from marrying by their guardians, who have wronged them and left them without husbands and children. How many women has that led to respond to the calls of their own desire and the Shaytaan, so they have committed evil actions and brought shame upon themselves and their families and clans, because they have committed sins that anger the Most Merciful?  How many young men have been unable to meet these demands for which no authority was sent down by Allah swt, so the devils and evil companions took control of them, until they led them astray and caused them to lose out, so they lost their families and lost their way, and they became lost to their ummah and homeland, and they lost out in this world and in the Hereafter.Extravagance is not allowed and is blameworthy in all matters, whether it has to do with marriage or otherwise. What is prescribed in Islam is that the individual should not make things difficult for himself and should not burden himself with more than he can bear. Rather he should spend according to his means and what he is able to afford, whilst avoiding extravagance and going to extremes in spending. But this does not mean that spending on wedding parties and marriage should be like spending on ordinary days, for example. Of course this is not appropriate; rather it is prescribed to spend more generously than usual at this time. For that reason it is Sunnah for a man to offer a feast at his wedding and to invite people to it. This is an expense that is greater than usual, but what matters, as we have said, is to avoid extravagance and wasteful spending in all of that. Each individual should pay attention to his own situation and what he can afford.
suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com

ROTE LEARNING: A CURSE 

By: Syed Mustafa Ahmad and Syed Mehroosh 

The writers are siblings from Hajibagh, HMT, Zainakote
It is a universal fact that the ultimate aim of education is personality development. Education is both a way  and an end in itself that provides opportunities to a student  to become a realized personality. To become a realized personality, both memorization and observations are necessary. The former opens up the closed sections of the brain, while as the latter is all about exposing an individual to the realities of life. But the irony is; when the memorization is solely taken for education. Cramming notes and facts are never an education in itself. It, in the long run, manipulates the very aim of education for nothing.        This malaise is not a product of some years. Since 1835 Act, we have been caught in the rat race of memorization. Thomas Macaulay was aware that if the ancient period of India was glorious, their modern was not. For this purpose, he introduced the system of learning where clerks and subordinates are manufactured. This system is all about mugging up of both facts and falsehoods. If this is the case, there must be reasons for this. In the coming lines, let us know some of the causes for this curse.        The first is outdated syllabi. For decades, thinkers and common people have been stressing upon this fact we must have the child-centered curriculum rather than exam dominated  curriculum or in other words, happy curriculum. Moreover, they disagree with the people, who believe in strict discipline. They believe that it hampers the progress of child’s brain. But their suggestions have been falling on deaf ears and the result is that for the sake of so-called learning, students memorize things without understanding it. Furthermore, notes are prepared by someone. In this way, it goes from bad to worse.       The second is laziness. Students have been made lazy enough to go for readymade things. They are not ready to observe, experiment and criticize anything. Instead, they want something that is acceptable and very short in nature. Their brains are filled with the suggestions that rote learning is better learning because it fetches marks. On the other hand, critical thinking may lead in trouble. In this way, they waste a lot of their time in other pursuits rather than investing their time in doing something on their own level.        The third is competition. In the present world, to remain in the competition means that one has to pass and qualify legally or illegally. Critical thinking and experimental things may shut out a student from the competition. The only way to get through is to memorize the derivations of both Physics and Maths and become a physicist as well as Mathematician. Who, at the end of the day, is going to ask them about what they have done? Outward display of learning is more charming than an ocean of knowledge and experience inside a child.         The fourth and last is ignorant society. Our society is illiterate as well as uneducated. For it, reading and writing is education. This is the narrowest kind of education. Education is something lifelong process. In the unequal society, to find equality is education. Finding beauty in ugliness is education. But this type of mindset is unknown to people. Our society judges on the basis of jobs, fluency, memory, etc. However, there is nothing about facing the real challenges of life. Society needs problem solvers; not problem creators.       So, the need of the hour is to do away with the rote learning and come up with something beneficial for the students as well as society. We cannot go on losing our precious brains in the name of education. It is best that we get awakened now. 

Refrain yourself from making a promise and then going back on it.

Sufya Yousf
Do not quarrel with your brother. Do not ridicule him. You should refrain from making a promise and then going back on it ( Hadith of Tirmidhi) 
According to the definition of Merriam Webster “Promise” is a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act.     A promise is a declaration of assuring that one will do or not do something. It is a commitment and its witness and guarantor is God itself. Mostly promises have been made in order to establish strong  relationships and build a strong trust. Some promises need legal documentation while some are simple and verbal. When a person makes a promise it shows his faith in God and his ethics. If that person fulfills his promise then he will be considered a true believer and people easily trust on him and he get respect both in the eyes of people and also Infront of Lord.    If a person break a promise, it not only disappoints the person he have promised, but it also erodes bits of his self esteem too. It breaks all the trust and expectation of that person and it is very difficult for that person to trust and expect anything from the same person or other persons again. He is not only breaking the promise he also breaks the trust of that person and this gives the victim a strong mental pain which is more painfull than physical pain. Brain research shows that breaking promises actually register in our brain activity, showing up as emotional conflict for the promise beaker as a result of surpressing their honesty.       Inpresent society lying, broken promises any vows are common, it becomes easy for a person to make a promise and the break it. But there are also some good people who are still value morals and whose belief system holds them to a highest ethical standereds.            Our religion Islam has highly stressed  about the importance of fulfilling ones promise, and also warns it’s believers of the serious consequences they will face if they were not to fulfill them.          ….” And fulfill the promises; surely (every) promise shall be questioned about”. ( 17:34)      It becomes a habit of today’s people to make a promise and then easily break it. Why don’t they think that they were to be questioned about their every single promise they have ever made. If they will remember this thing before breaking a promise then they will never break a single promise in their life and they will think hundred times before breaking a promise.         “He who believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment must fulfill his promises.” The Prophet (PBUH) further states: “He who has these three things should be considered a hypocrite, even if he performs the daily prayers, observes fasting and thinks that he is a Muslim: breach of trust, lying and breach of promise.”      A promise breaker is considered as hypocrite by our beloved Prophet(saw) and according to the holy book of Allah the hypocrite holds the lowest rank in hell. Allah also mentions that those who fear Allah and fulfill their promises are loved by Allah and rewarded by Him. Islam takes the issue of keeping ones promises extremely serious. While those who break their promises and making fun of them are considered the worst kind of people. Fulfilling a promise is the most valued trait of a pious believer. Mostly a person make a promise when he is happy but he never think  before making a promise, he makes a random promise and when he think later about it then he came to know that he can’t fulfill it and he became a big sinner, but he never apologize for it because he takes it a random thing he never take it serious. Making a promise and then break it, it becomes quite easier now a days and people usually don’t take it serious but it is a serious thing and being a Muslim we must think about it because it converts a pious believer into hypocrite and we all know the place of hypocrite. We must think before making a promise so that we can’t lose our firm faith and before making a promise we should always remember this thing that Our Lord is the witness  of our promise and we will be questioned for every single promise.       May Allah increase our faith and make us among the pious Muslims…..Ameen    
         Sufaya yousf is Currently persuing her bachelor’s degree at Srinager kashmir.    sofisufaya1999@gmail.com

More Covid-19 variants are likely to come, so what do we learn till now?
Dr Suhaib Ashraf Bhat.
Coronavirus disease (COVID-19), is a contagious disease caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2(SARS-CoV-2). The first known case was identified in Wuhan, China, in December 2019. The disease has since spread worldwide, leading to an ongoing pandemic. The Delta variant, which originated in India, began spreading more rapidly and making news around the middle of June. Now, health experts are warning of another surge of COVID-19.Delta variant is highly contagious.Delta variant symptoms are same. Delta variant is affecting un-vaccinating people more.Delta variant could be catastrophic in some communities.More Covid-19 variants are likely to come.   
So, from December 2019 till date what have we learned? 
The answer is in one line, “no sadness goes on and no joy lasts forever”.
The things that cross our minds and make us feel distressed are things in the past that have caused grief, things in the future that we are worried about, and things in the present which concern us. People react differently to stress and worries, depending on how many things are concerning them, whether the worry is continuous or not, and on whether they have faith in their hearts or are rebellious and sinful. We may describe people’s hearts as being of two types: either the heart is the throne of Allah swt, filled with light, life, happiness, joy and all the treasures of goodness; or it is the throne of the Shaytaan, wherein is distress, darkness, death, grief, worry and anxiety. People’s worries and concerns also differ, according to the differences in their motivations, circumstances and individual responsibilities.
The believer knows that this world is fleeting, its luxuries few, and that whatever pleasures exist in it are always imperfect. If it causes a little laughter, it gives many reasons to weep; if it gives a little, it withholds far more. The believer is merely being detained here, as the Messenger of Allah swt Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him), said: “This world is the prison of the believer and the Paradise of the Kaafir [disbeliever].” This world is also fatigue, pain, misery and suffering, so the believer feels relief when he departs from it. Abu Qataadah ibn Rib’i al-Ansaari, (may Allah swt be pleased with him) used to say that a funeral passed the Messenger of Allah swt Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him), and he said: “He is now relieved, and people feel relieved of him.” The people asked: “O Messenger of Allah swt Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him), how can he be relieved and people feel relieved of him?” He said: “The believing slave [who dies] is relieved of the fatigue and pain of this world and has gone to the mercy of Allah swt; when the rebellious slave dies, people, land, trees and animals are relieved of him.” For the believer, death brings a respite from the distress, worries and pain of this life, as is stated in the Hadeeth: “When the believer is about to die, the angels of mercy bring white silk and say: ‘Come out content, with the pleasure of Allah swt upon you, to the mercy of Allah swt and sweet fragrance and a Lord who is not angry.’ So [the soul] comes out like the best fragrance of musk and the angels hand it to one another until they bring it to the gate of heaven. They say: ‘How good is this fragrance that has come from the earth!’ They bring it to the souls of the believers, and they rejoice over it much more than you do when one who has been absent returns. They ask him: ‘What did so-and-so do? What did so-and-so do?’ then (the angels) say: ‘Leave him alone, for he was suffering the distress of the world.’ When he asks: ‘Did not so-and-so come to you?’ They say: ‘He was taken to his home in the Pit [i.e. Hell].’ When the Kaafir is about to die, angels of punishment bring sackcloth and say: ‘Come out discontent, with the wrath of Allah swt upon you, to the punishment of Allah swt.’ So [the soul] comes out like the worst stench of rotten meat, and they take it to the gate of the earth. They say: ‘How foul is this stench,’ until they bring it to the souls of the disbelievers.” This understanding of the reality of this world makes it easier for the believer to bear afflictions, pains, distress and anxiety; because he knows that they are an inevitable part of the nature of this life.
In the event of a calamity or epidemic, the remedy is to repent to Allah swt, may He be exalted, and humble oneself before Him and beseech Him, and to right any wrongs that have been done, and also to seek forgiveness a great deal, glorify Allah swt a great deal, send blessings upon the Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him), ask Allah swt for well-being, and take measures to protect oneself and treat sickness, such as quarantine, and vaccinations and medical treatment if they are available.
With regard to taking measures such as quarantine and seeking medical treatment, this is indicated by the teachings and practice of our Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him), as he instructed us to seek medical treatment, and highlighted the importance of taking precautions against infection; he instructed us not to put sick camels with healthy camels, and not to travel to a land where a plague is occurring.The Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him) said: “Seek medical treatment, for Allah swt, may He be glorified and exalted, has not created any disease but He has also created a remedy for it, except for one disease: old age.” narrated by Ahmad (17726) and the authors of as-Sunan, Abu Dawood (3855), at-Tirmidhi (2038), and Ibn Maajah (3436). Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.And the Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him) said: “Whoever eats seven ‘ajwah dates in the morning, will not be harmed by any poison or witchcraft that day.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5769) and Muslim (2057).Al-Bukhaari (5771) and Muslim (2221) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah swt be pleased with him) said: The Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him) said: “No sick camel should be put with a healthy one.”And the Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah swt be upon him) said: “If you hear of the plague in some land, do not enter it, and if it occurs in a land where you are, do not leave it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5728) and Muslim (2218).
Allah swt, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“And We have already sent [messengers] to nations before you, [O Muhammad]; then We seized them with poverty and hardship that perhaps they might humble themselves [to Us]. Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing” [al-An‘aam 6:42-43].
Ibn Katheer (may Allah swt have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer (3/256):“And We have already sent [messengers] to nations before you, [O Muhammad]; then We seized them with poverty” that is, impoverishment and destitution “and hardship” – this refers to disease, sickness and pain“that perhaps they might humble themselves [to Us]” that is, that they might call upon Allah swt, humble themselves before Him, and fear Him.
Allah swt, may He be exalted, says: “Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble themselves?” That is, why, when We tested them with that, did they not beseech Us and show humility before Us?“But their hearts became hardened” and never softened and became humble“and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing” namely shirk (associating others with Allah) and committing sins. End quote.Allah swt, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“Do they not see that they are tried every year once or twice but then they do not repent nor do they remember?” [at-Tawbah 9:126].
Calamities only come down because of sin, and cannot be removed except by repentance, as al-‘Abbaas (may Allah swt be pleased with him) said in his du‘aa’ when he prayed for rain (istisqaa’).Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah swt have mercy on him) said in al-Fath (2/497): az-Zubayr ibn Bakkaar described in al-Ansaab the du‘aa’ (supplication) that al-‘Abbaas offered during this event and the time during which it occurred. He narrated, with his isnaad (chain of narrators) that when ‘Umar (may Allah swt be pleased with him) prayed for rain by virtue of the supplication of al-‘Abbaas, he said: O Allah, no calamity comes down except because of sin and it cannot be removed except by means of repentance. End quote.
With regard to seeking forgiveness: it is a means of attaining good health, strength and well-being.
Allah swt, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“And [saying], Seek forgiveness of your Lord and repent to Him, [and] He will let you enjoy a good provision for a specified term and give every doer of favor his favor” [Hood 11:3]
“And O my people, ask forgiveness of your Lord and then repent to Him. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in showers and increase you in strength [added] to your strength. And do not turn away, [being] criminals” [Hood 11:52].
May Allah swt relieve us of this calamity and epidemic.
Suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com