News Kashmir Magazine

              Every suicide is a tragedy that causes pain to whole family

Dr Suhaib Ashraf BhatYear 2020 saw 287 suicide cases in J&K, reveals NCRB including 157 males and 130 females.  This figure was revealed by the National Crime Record Bureau for Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA) that was released earlier in last week of October is something we should really ponder on.  
Every suicide is a tragedy. Death by suicide is an extremely complex issue that causes pain to whole family. Dear brothers and sisters, don’t forget, Trouble is inevitable in the life of this world; this is how Allah swt has decreed it and He swt has made it a place of trials and tests, and a bridge to the Hereafter. Even the best of His creation, the prophets, were never free of troubles. Life is never plain sailing for anyone, young or old. You may have reason to rejoice one day, then reason to feel sad for many other days; this is how it always is in the life of this world and this is how people are all the time.
There are certain hotspots of suicide in the world, and the common thread running through these places is poverty and dearth of job opportunities resulting from the lack of development. The lack of jobs and poverty force the poor to search of a better life. But the harsh realities of life shatter their dreams. Wait for a second; this is not only the reason, According to a one report of Lancet, suicide rates in India are highest in the 15-29 age groups of the youth population. The report says that among men, 40% suicides were by individuals aged 15-29, while for women it was almost 60%.
“Stress, anxiety disorder, depression, personality disorder all these result in mental illness that leads a youth towards suicide. This happens when the youth are not satisfied with his or her surroundings.” Relationship breakdown is another leading cause. 
After going through so many researches I found youth with good background also commit suicide, So it’s clear to say that Poverty and dearth of job is not only the reason to commit suicide especially in younger generation. A suicide is merely a mental health issue. Psychiatrists and Psychologists are available in every city to counsel people driven to suicide out of depression caused by economic or personal reasons. I have gone through many studies across the globe which authorities attribute most suicides to depression.
Suicide:  Which is increasing day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and second by second? Thinkers are thinking; Philosophers making another philosophy out of it yet the rate of the suicide is increasing. Every suicide is a tragedy that affects families, communities and entire countries and has long-lasting effects on the people left behind.  Life is an unending succession of moments.  At the two extremes there are joyful moments that make our hearts soar and dark moments that plunge us into sadness and worry or even despair.  Gladness and its opposite sadness are part of the human condition, however when we lose control over our emotions we can easily fall into despair.  Despair is the feeling that we get when all hope has disappeared and it is a very dangerous situation. Calamity is part of the natural order of things and hardly anyone is safe from it.
 The Messenger of Allah  swt Muhammad Salalahualihwasalam narrated from his Lord that He Said: “I am as my slave expects Me to be.
Ahmad bin ‘Umar al-Qurtubi Rahimullah said:“It is said that His Saying “I am as my slave expects Me to be” means if one expects an answer when he supplicates, his repentance to be accepted, something repugnant to be repelled from him, his deeds to be accepted that are performed with their proper conditions. And this is supported by his saying: “Call upon Allah swt while you are certain that you will be answered.” Likewise, it is incumbent upon the one who repents, seeks Forgiveness, and does good deeds to exert himself in fulfilling his obligations while he is certain that Allah swt will accept his actions and Forgive his sins, as Allah swt has promised that He will accept any truthful repentance and righteous deeds. So, whoever performs such a deed and believes and expects that Allah swt will not accept it and that it will not benefit him, this is despair from the Mercy of Allah swt, and is from greatest of the major sins. Whoever dies upon this will be delivered to that which he expected.”‘Al-Mufhim li ma Ushkil min Talkhis Kitab Muslim’ (5/267)
Suicide is a complex issue and therefore suicide prevention efforts require coordination and collaboration among multiple sectors of society, including the health sector and other sectors such as education, labour, agriculture, business, justice, law, defence, politics, and the media. These efforts must be comprehensive and integrated as no single approach alone can make an impact on an issue as complex as suicide.
 “And whoever oppresses (commits injustice) among you, We will make him taste a great punishment.” (Quran 25:19)
Prophet Muhammad Salalahualihiwasalam said: “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor.  Whoever fulfils the needs of his brother, Allah swt will fulfil his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah swt will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever covers the faults of a Muslim, Allah swt will cover his faults on the Day of Resurrection.”
Thus there is certainly a benefit in treating others well, especially in coming to the aid of friends or family members who are overwhelmed by life’s cruelties and injustices.  However what of the people who feel alone, crushed by circumstance and are teetering on the edge of despair.  How can a person suffering from suicidal thoughts bring themselves back from the brink? This can be achieved in many ways; firstly by strengthening one’s relationship with Allah swt. This is achieved by reading the Quran, being mindful of Him and making lots of dua (supplication) to Allah swt. Next a person would do well to recognise Satan’s hand in this matter.  He whispers frightening scenarios of poverty and helplessness.  They are not true for Allah swt’s mercy conquers all.  Cling to Him and to Islam even in the darkest hour and the longest night.
 If you suspect that a family member or friend may be considering suicide, talk to them about your concerns. You can begin the conversation by asking questions in a non-judgmental and non-confrontational way.Talk openly and don’t be afraid to ask direct questions, such as “Are you thinking about suicide?”
During the conversation, make sure you:Stay calm and speak in a reassuring toneAcknowledge that their feelings are legitimateOffer support and encouragementTell them that help is available and that they can feel better with treatmentMake sure not to minimize their problems or attempts at shaming them into changing their mind. Listening and showing your support is the best way to help them. You can also encourage them to seek help from a professional.Offer to help them find a healthcare provider, make a phone call, or go with them to their first appointment.It can be frightening when someone you care about shows suicidal signs. But it’s critical to take action if you’re in a position to help. Starting a conversation to try to help save a life is a risk worth taking. “And do not kill yourselves.  Surely, Allah swt is Most Merciful to you.” (Quran 4:29)
May Allah swt make things easy for us and make us among those who always provide helping hand to others.  Aameen Suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com

LIFE IS THE JOURNEY OF LIVING
DR SUHAIB ASHRAF BHAT

Every day doctors and scientists engage themselves in finding out ways by which life can be extended as much as possible. Life includes happiness and sorrows. Those are called the ups and downs of life. Without them, life is just an endless battle that can always be won. It is however important to find happiness in life to overcome one’s sorrows. Only then life seems to be beautiful.
Some people believe the purpose of life is getting wealthy. However, what will be the purpose of their life after collecting millions of dollars? If the purpose of life is to become wealthy, there will be no purpose after becoming wealthy.
In fact, here lies the problem of some people in the last stages of their lives. After they have collected the money which they dreamt of, their life loses its purpose and they live in tension, restlessness and suffer from the panic of nothingness.
Can attaining wealth be an aim?
We often hear of wealthy people committing suicide; sometimes, it is not the wealthy person himself but members of his family – his wife or children. The question is: Can aiming for wealth bring happiness to the individual? In most cases, the answer is ‘No’. Is the purpose of collecting wealth a long-standing purpose?
As we know, a five-year-old child does not look for wealth: he prefers a toy to a million dollars. An 18-year-old adolescent does not dream of wealth because he is busy with things that are more important. A 90-year-old does not care for money; he is more worried about his health. This proves that wealth cannot be a long-standing purpose in all the stages of an individual’s life.
Wealth can do a little to bring happiness to a disbeliever, because he is not sure about his end or his fate. A disbeliever does not know the purpose of life, and if he has a purpose, this purpose is doomed to be temporary or self-destructive.
What is the use of wealth to a disbeliever if he feels scared of the end and sceptical of everything? A disbeliever may gain a lot of money, but surely loses himself.
On the other hand, faith in Allah swt gives the believer the purpose of life he needs. In Islam, the purpose of life is to worship Allah swt. The term “worship” covers all acts of obedience to Allah swt. The Islamic purpose of life can withstand the test of time. The true Muslim sticks to this purpose through all the stages of his life, whether he is a child, adolescent, adult or an old man.
Worshipping Allah swt makes life purposeful and meaningful, especially within the framework of Islam. According to Islam, this worldly life is just a short stage of our lives. After this, there is the other life — the Hereafter. The position of the person in the Hereafter depends on his deeds in this first life. At the end of the death, stage comes the Day of Judgment. On this day, Allah swt will reward or punish people according to their deeds. 
People have different purposes at different stages in their lives such as collecting money and property, indulging in sex, eating and dancing. However, all these purposes are temporary, they come and go. Money comes and goes. Health comes and goes. Sexual activities cannot continue forever. All these lusts for money, food and sex cannot answer the individual’s question to himself: what next?
However, Islam saves those who follow it sincerely from the troubling question: what is the aim of life? Islam makes it clear to the Muslim, from the very beginning that the permanent purpose of life is to worship Allah swt. We should know that the only way for our salvation in this life and in the Hereafter is to know the Lord who created us, believe in Him, and worship Him alone. 

What is the purpose of my life? What is the purpose of your life? What is the purpose of our lives?

suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com

LOCKDOWN AND CHILDREN

By Syed Mustafa Ahmad
Being a student as well as a  tutor, I am close to students. I know their body languages more than others to some extent. Having been teaching for 6 years, I have come across thousands of students, who are quite different from each other. Tastes are different, so are likings. However, one thing that I have found is that schools are loved by most of schools. Today, I teach about 60 students. 90 percent students want to go to school. They have become lazy at their homes. Dullness has engulfed them from all sides.       Today, I was teaching a class 6th student from the government school. He is my neighbour as well. As mentioned earlier, I am a learner, learning from everybody, he was talking to me freely. We were discussing about the length of chapter in Science textbook. Suddenly, he told me that he forgets things. I was bit perplexed. How can a child of 12 years can forget things, when he doesn’t have apparent illness? Pondering over this situation, I came to conclude that it is the handiwork of lockdown for 16 months. It is the result of shutdowns and lockdown that has made the lives of children hellish. In the coming lines, I will discuss some consequences of lockdowns and shutdowns.       The first is health. Both physically and mentally, the children are suffering. They have become lazy and are mentally retarded nowadays. Since Covid-19 hit the world, there is fear looming large in the lives of children. They have been evident of situations, where young people died of novel Corona Virus. This has made them to look at death each time. Moreover, in Kashmir, there are shutdowns now and then due to many reasons, which have taken heavy toll of the lives of students.     The second is social distancing. Students used to meet each other and enjoy every moment. But for a year and more, they are isolated from each other. They have become strangers in their own lands. In this way, they long for those days, when barring some distances, everything was almost good. They would touch and hug  each other. Now, they are advised not to touch or hug each other. They can’t share their lunches. Sanitizers and masks have become new norms, though they are necessary.       The third is indifference to studies. They take their studies quite lightly. They believe that appearing in an examination is the need of the hour. The question of learning something  is secondary in nature. In this way, the main aim of education is thrown into winds. How can these students compete in the world, where technology plays the main part? So, the result is that students are enjoying their lives in the hazardous ways.        The fourth and last is burden for family members. Remaining in schools for 5 hours, was a peaceful time for family members. Now, living for hours together, has made students a headache for their families. It has resulted in domestic violence and chances of snapping of relations.       In short, there is need for something tangible in order to get them out of frustration. I am still thinking how can the sixth grade student fight more lockdown days, if there is no way out. How long shall we go on losing our brilliant minds for the sake of nothing?

OPEN EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS NOW

By: Syed Mustafa Ahmad
A long time has passed since the students were to academic institutions. Now, it has become necessary to open them. Many students have lost touch with their studies and are less bothered about their studies. They believe that it will take a long time for institutions to open. Let us live a free life. Online education formalities are fulfilled, why to take more pains. It is in this perspective, I want educational institutions to start working. Proper behavior should be maintained strictly. For it, some harsh measures must be taken in order to let students attend institutions in a proper manner.       Why there is dire need of opening of institutions, is the theme of my article. Everywhere I see students have become everything but have not remained students. Surfing the Net and playing offline and online games, in addition to online classes, have made reasonable people to get frustrated, without any power in their hands. Now, some ray of hope lies in opening the institutions so that they get isolated from smart phones for some time and breathe freely and in reality.       The first cause is isolation. Smart phones have isolated them from surroundings as well as from themselves. In society, where we are supposed to live harmoniously, students have renounced the society and are living in their own constructed worlds, where socialization has no entry.       The second is health problems. Both physically, emotionally and psychologically, students have fallen ill. In other words, they are sick. No physical movements, emotional disturbances due to the material available on the Internet and imitating those people or things whom he or she likes, has made our students’ lives hellish. To be smart means to live practical life. But enjoying in virtual world, means unhealthy practices.       The third is careers. In this fashion, the careers of students are at stake. Physical classes have human touch, though they are archaic. We human beings need human attitude. Artificial Intelligence, Algorithm and Cloud Computing can make our lives comfortable but they lack human empathy, sympathy, patience, love, etc. In this way, if by chance students learn anything, they will be like machines. They will react and act like machines. So, saving the careers of students is necessary, by unlocking institutions with proper consultations.       The fourth and last is future of our Union Territory. If the present trend continues, a time will come we must have ill educated students. Our Union Territory needs problem solving brains. They have to represent us at many forums. Any leniency at the present has long time bad effects in the future. The present calmness will give rise to ferocious waves of ignorance.      So, the need of the hour is to help the government in opening up the academic institutions. And  opening up of parks and hotels  should not be meant like educational institutions. If parks are open, it is their fault. Responsible citizens care for others as well as for themselves. Don’t act like fools. There is no hurry in opening up the institutions, if the situation doesn’t  allow, but at least, we can try to open them. Let us act responsibly. 

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE: SPREAD THE LOVE 

Dr Suhaib Ashraf Bhat
Improving one’s level of social intelligence requires intellectual effort and acquisition of knowledge, as well as practical, behavioural effort.With regard to intellectual effort and acquiring knowledge, it is attained by learning the noble characteristics that have to do with dealing with people in general terms, and learning the ideal ways of dealing with transgression and hypocrisy, and bad characteristics in particular. 
With regard to practical, behavioural effort, it is attained by persisting and steadfastly interacting with people on the basis of noble characteristics; developing self-restraint when dealing with transgressors, hypocrites and ill-mannered people; and repelling with that which is better and bearing with patience the evil of wrongdoers.
With the advent of 20th century, people started believing in the fact that there are no two individuals who are born exactly identical. When we say “identical”, it means both physical features and thought process. There was a time when people used to tell their children to “be like” their idol who could be their favourite player or athlete. However, now it has been universally accepted that asking someone to be somebody else is not only is an unrealistic and impractical demand, but also is a disastrous practice to follow, especially for children, as it stunts mental growth and creative thinking in people.Two individuals are born distinct from each other, and are different in their ways of thinking and interpreting the world. Asking them to be someone else could prevent the growth of their own distinct personality. While this factor of humans to be born unique and different gives us the wide variety of personality traits and approaches, it is the same factor that is the reason behind difference of opinions.
Social intelligence can be defined as the human ability of decoding the happenings of the world and responding to it likewise. This ability is exclusive to humans and distinguishes us from the rest of beings in the animal kingdom.Social Intelligence is also the capability to act wisely while maintaining human relations. It is markedly different from just intelligence, unlike what people used to think earlier. Over the years, it has been observed that many exceptionally intelligent people struggle a lot while maintaining a social life.

According to experts, there are three types of intelligences −Abstract Intelligence − It is the ability of applying knowledge in complex problem-solving by seeing the problem as a whole as opposed to checking only the individual, constituent parts. This is about understanding the non-verbal ideas and expressing them verbally. They are assessed as a part of Intelligence Testing.Mechanical Intelligence − It is the skill to understand the functioning of mechanisms and processes. Engineers and scientists have a typically high level of mechanical intelligence that enables them to understand how a machine works or what would make a specific machine work.Social Intelligence – This kind of intelligence is found in successful managers and marketing people. They know how to find their own in a group of people and they are always ready with proper responses to every query. In other words, they know how to be the people’s person.
Social Intelligence is also known as interpersonal intelligence because it is also the study of an individual’s ability to notice the distinctions between him and other people. As per this concept, a person’s own unique personality is a product of the person’s difference in knowledge on different areas as well as the level of social interactions he has with the people in his surroundings.Social intelligence skills are something anyone can learn. They don’t depend on genes or biology, although some people might be more susceptible to acquiring them than others. The social intelligence theory was first developed by psychologist Edward Thorndike all the way back in 1920.
Today we can say that social intelligence is the ability to read and properly react to social signals, monitor, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, and fit into a variety of social contexts.
As adults, most of us develop these skills to some extent. We may have a broad idea of what it means to be socially well-adept, but we differ in our ability to comply with the rules of social life and navigate them. The first signs of social intelligence in humans are visible as early as the 6th week of life. At 18 months of age, children can comprehend complex social cues and understand others’ intentions. As we grow older, our social environment becomes more complex and demanding, and it requires a sophisticated set of skills and abilities that for the majority of people don’t simply come naturally–they need to be taught. As adults, we become responsible and capable of acquiring new social skills, and can significantly benefit from doing so. Scientific research has proven time and time again that people with stronger social connections, and who are more optimistic and positive, tend to suffer less from mental health problems, experience less stress, and consequently have better physical health.
There are several simple ways to improve your social intelligence skills.1. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS AROUND YOU.2. FOLLOW YOUR OWN PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL CUES.3. RESPECT AND KNOW OTHER CULTURES.4. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING.5. APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.
We live in a society and come in contact with people with different thoughts and personalities every day. While meeting these people with different social and psychological characteristics, we experience happiness, sorrow, misunderstandings, agreements, quarrels, and other different emotions. If we don’t know how to handle these feelings, we will tend to avoid those people who make us feel uncomfortable. That in turn, will make us appear unfriendly to those people, many of whom could be important people in our lives.
Booster to happy life: Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts, such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred up by some grievous matter, or the expectation of bad things and the loss of good things, it will fill him with worries, distress, mental and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people have seen. But when a person depends on Allah swt and puts his trust in Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts overwhelm him, and he relies on Allah swt and has hope of His bounty, this wards off his worries and distress, and relieves him of a great deal of mental and physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength, comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how often have these things had an effect upon the hearts of many strong people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to foolishness and insanity. It should be noted that your life will follow your train of thought. If your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy. Otherwise it will be the opposite.
suhaibbhatt85@gmail.com